Blog entry for:

challenges of living
It is quite a delicious irony I would be writing about dealing with the topic smack dab in the middle of vacation, where my only challenges seem to be getting that primo poolside chaise, making reservations for dinner and deciding what to put in my omelette this morning. In fact even before I did the reading or took care of my morning physical need, I was out the door claiming our spot in the sun. Ah the travails of a world traveler 😆.
I do understand what the point of this reading is, it is all about keeping a bit of perspective in my life. Honestly most days it does not suck to be me, which of course I can hear y'all rolling your eyes, clicking your tongues and thinking that is very easy to say as someone who has escaped temporarily to more tropical climes. I certainly would be myself. In all honesty though, even when I am a thousand miles north of my current location and driving in the morning traffic, cursing at the self-entitled driver that just cut me off, I NEED a little perspective that the reading mentions and I get that perspective via the TWELVE STEP process that I have adapted my life to fit. I have said it in the past, that my actions, reactions and feelings when driving are the best indications I have of how spiritually fit I am t that moment. Running out to grab a pool chair? Not exactly the pinnacle of spiritual growth. Laughing at myself for indulging in it? Well that is a sign that maybe I am getting a little bit better. I am not one of those who Yale between sweetness and light ➽ homicidal anger ➽ suicidal ideation, I am fairly constant emotionally and more times than not spiritually. For those who are on the edges, wondering where this came from, and there a quite a few, it is because I have started to understand that life is far too precious to waste fuming about, fretting over no just plain obsessing about things that are far beyond my power to control. I have learned, quite painfully, that if I want to be trusted, I need to be trustworthy and trust others. If I want to be respected I need to be respectful. If I want friends, I have to be friendly and if I want the serenity and the self-confidence that I see in my peers, I need to do what they have done
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it I easy for me to be member of that choir with so many days clean, a stable home life, a career and a well paying job. The fact is, yes it is easy at this point to be all that I never was, including a little more patient and a whole lot more tolerant of my fellow human, but just like Rome, this was person was not built in a day. Moment by moment, hour by hour, day by day, I kept doing this gig, even on those days that it sucked to be me. I let others into my life, slowly, one might even say at a glacial pace, and I let the program transform me into someone I liked to be around, most of the time. Tomorrow I will need to be assertive but courteous, as I exercise my right to our time in the sun and leisure. Today, well today I just need to let go, allow the tropical breezes to take me where they will and be certain, that no matter what, II can deal with what is coming down the pike, even if it is fist-fighting my way to get the last ceviche on the buffet.

∞ DT ∞