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i will be the first to admit than i am judgemental. i also own that i have a bit of experience staying clean and serving my fellowship. those two facts, on top of being human and the self-centeredness of addiction, can combine to make me a royal asshole, who believes that he is always correct and has the perfect answer. my source material, was once again, one of those, where the headline did not quite jibe with the material. as a result, what i heard was about being open to new ideas, without judging the content based on who is presenting it.
as i work on becoming the sort of person i never believed i had to be, open, willing, trusting and welcoming, i know that i have made great strides from where i once was. i know these days, that i do not have any monopoly on how to carry the message and i am certainly way out of the loop as to what the FNG needs to stay clean. heck, i can barely figure out what those with a bit of time need to stay clean today. what i do know, is that i NEED to do what i can to allow those with less clean time and experience have the opportunity to figure this stuff out with my help and not my “direction.”
i have to admit that the last kerfuffle i was involved in, ended up to support my point of view and was exactly what i said it was, self-will run riot, to gift something to someone. that grand and “unprecedented” scheme fell apart under its own weight, because the recipients had no skin in the game. helicoptering anyone in this fellowship very seldomly works, as i have seen time and again. as i do my best to move in a direction of listening and asking what those i support really need, i find myself becoming a bit less judgemental and certainly more open to seeing things in a different manner. i know that what i know, may be correct, but sometimes it is not the most correct direction in which to move. if this is exercising goodwill, than i am on the correctly named path, but what it is labelled really does not deter from walking it, just for today.

∞ DT ∞