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🌬 these days, 🌪
posted: Friday the 19th of January, 2018 07:42:27 AM


there are countless real-life opportunities for excitement and drama, that does not mean i cannot go out an manufacture one or more new ones! oh the places i could go with this topic. part of the reason i am on my frugality kick lately, is that i have this nagging notion that i just might be spending more than i ought to be spending. even though my bills are paid on time and my overall debt is being reduced, i still “worry” about money. i, like many of those who are in my life, have always had an very interesting relationship with money, namely spend it as fast as i get it, savings are for wimps and deferred gratification sucks. as i grow-up in my recovery, i see that relationship and set of attitudes need to change. i could blame culture, society or my parents about having the attitude that happiness can be bought on an easy installment plan basis, but the truth is, no matter where i got that attitude from, i NEED to take responsibility to change it. i may be powerless about what i already have, namely being a spendthrift, but i am not powerless about where i can go today and beyond, learning to get myself more fiscally responsible and learning how to live within my means and plan for a day down the road.
looking at the rest of the reading,although i can also see myself moving into that spending sleepless nights in front of my computer calculating income and expenses and wondering where the fVck it all went to, the message that hit me the hardest was the one of not going out and stirring the pot, just to feel excited about my life today. that behavior is very familiar to me, and is driven by my need to feel powerful and in control. if i can wreak a tiny bit of chaos in the lives of others, than i am that much more superior and closer to being supreme. in the long run, however, it goes back to being a spendthrift. that is a symptom of my less than stellar self-esteem. the more things i can display, the more supreme i am, and the more supreme i am, well one knows where that story line goes.
right here and right now? well, it is time to wrap this up, get showered and shaved and head on down to the pl;ace that pays me well enough for me to dispaly the wealth i do not have, just for today.

∞ DT ∞


djtConsulting Brand
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.

Another Look!

∞  mountains or mole hills?  ∞ 325 words ➥ Wednesday, January 19, 2005 by: donnot
∞ climbing mountains or tripping over molehills ∞ 592 words ➥ Thursday, January 19, 2006 by: donnot
∞ mountain-sized problems happen sometimes, but i do not need to create them. ∞ 314 words ➥ Friday, January 19, 2007 by: donnot
α when i find myself obsessed with a complication in my life, ω 123 words ➥ Saturday, January 19, 2008 by: donnot
μ even me, one who has found some measure of serenity … 526 words ➥ Monday, January 19, 2009 by: donnot
∉ trust in a HIGHER POWER will put most of my problems into their proper perspective ∉ 435 words ➥ Tuesday, January 19, 2010 by: donnot
⇔ when i stop living in the here and now, my problems become magnified unreasonably. ⇔ 527 words ➥ Wednesday, January 19, 2011 by: donnot
≈ i no longer need to create chaos to feel excited about my life ≈ 648 words ➥ Thursday, January 19, 2012 by: donnot
¡ my recovery gives me countless real-life opportunities ! 479 words ➥ Saturday, January 19, 2013 by: donnot
♦ i will take a realistic look at my problems ♦ 531 words ➥ Sunday, January 19, 2014 by: donnot
∧ recovery gives me countless real-life ∧ 609 words ➥ Monday, January 19, 2015 by: donnot
☠ making mountains ☠ 630 words ➥ Tuesday, January 19, 2016 by: donnot
👺 blowing problems 👹 544 words ➥ Thursday, January 19, 2017 by: donnot

☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯

by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge

Book 2

2) Shall we then dispense with correction? The (method of) correction
shall by a turn become distortion, and the good in it shall by a turn
become evil. The delusion of the people (on this point) has indeed
subsisted for a long time.