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these experiences do not mean i have become perfect or that i am **cured.** then the reading goes on to speak of these as tastes from the source of my recovery. some would see these experiences as burning bushes, so to speak, others like myself see them as a dive into the infinite well, that is deeper than usual and just a bit more profound. of course, i have been confused about what these experience were and how to deal with them, but times have changed as i stay clean, i have some clues now about what is going on inside of me, and among them is what is the true nature of such experiences and how they relate to me. although it has been a bit of time since i had one of these experiences, in fact i cannot remember the last time, i feel that i am hearing what is going on around much clearer than ever before. perhaps, what is really happening is that i am having them all the time, so it feels like it is just part of my life. or what is most likely, is that i take this sort of experience in stride and move on, after a quick "that’s nice," and move on to the next part of my day. it really does not matter, i have started to move beyond obsessing about the why of things in my recovery and am moving to the how, and my sponsees are starting to sense that there is once again a shift occurring inside that they too will feel the results of.
anyhow, i am grateful that i can have any profound spiritual experiences at all, the day i walked into the rooms i was certain that i would be one of those who were forever denied the ability to grow into such experiences. that certainty came with me, even as i decided to give this recovery gig a try, after all, the rational me was not going to be capable of living in that irrational and confusing world of the divine, so why bother. well, i am glad that i have bothered and will continue to do what i need to do, to allow this process to continue. so off to the showers and into the mundane world to accomplish what needs accomplishing this morning, which is quite a bit!

∞ DT ∞