Blog entry for:

and trust me, i have them aplenty, are certainly part of being human and for this addict, part of a thriving recovery community. in my recovery program, no one has ever told me to stop thinking for myself, nor to stop coming to the table with my ideas, no matter how far out there, they just may be. what i have been told, time and again, is that i also need to pay attention to what my peers and acquaintances are saying and respond appropriately. which means shutting down the flow of ideas in my head, long enough to take in and process what i am being told.

Linda L.
CONGRATS on NINETEEN (19) years of doing this gig, JFT.

as i look at my vacation posts from a year ago, i am struck by the number of typos and poor usage. as i fix them up, i get the opportunity to consider what was going on and how i responded and reacted to the events of those idyllic days in Greece. the thing i am the happiest about, is that i did not cause any harm and when i was wrong, i got to admit it, in real-time. when i get through a day with that as the primary result, i can count it as a success. this morning as i sat, however, my mind went to at least a hundred different places. i guess active listening to the void, was not in the cards. i did however, clear out a whole lot detritus that was floating around, including how to respond to a man who once called me his sponsor and who seems hesitant to do so, while in his current living situation. i wrote the letter and got it into the mailbox, before i had too much time to consider what i was saying. all of this extra activity has delayed my morning routine and i am concerned that i will attempt a shortcut or three to catch up, rather than taking a breath, realizing that i have plenty of time to get what i want to get accomplished and move along, down the highway.
speaking of which, it is time to close this down and get active. as the noise cleared from my head this morning, what i was left with was a sense of belonging. i realize that i am not the “persecuted and saintly man” walking on two feet, these days, but i do not even attempt to project that. i do the best with what i have and sometimes that may appear to fall short of an expectation i have set for myself. in reality, that expectation is one of the obstacles blocking my journey towards practicing the spiritual principle of happiness. just for today, i can be okay not having hordes of followers who believe that threatening violence because i am suffering the consequences of being a narcissistic asshole, is the next right thing to do.

∞ DT ∞