Blog entry for:

the actions i undertake in each of the steps bring more and more recovery to each area of my life. yes, there are certainly days when i feel that i am not getting well enough, fast enough. and then there are times when i think i am growing way too fast. what this dichotomy of feelings sets up in me is the desire to focus on the outcome rather than the process, and i get all sorts of expectations built up about the pace of my recovery. what i am hearing this morning, is that the pace of the process is really a trivial matter, my job is to focus on my process, to doing part, not the changing part, and surrender the results into the care of the POWER that keeps me clean. saying that is easy, but the doing of that is quite a different kettle of fish. so what i feel i need to do, is to live in a little bit of FAITH, and let go of my need to control a process, which in the long run, is truly out of my control. yes, even today i hate to admit that i am powerless over anything, and certainly the pace of my recovery, or more accurately the pace of my recovery that i perceive, is one of those things that i am truly powerless over. that does not mean i stop doing the footwork, the action (working steps) and the conscious contact (prayer and meditation), that my progress in recovery is predicated upon. i do have power there! no what it means, i keep doing what i have done, and stop worrying about whether or not i am getting any better.
i do believe that is a task i can accomplish today. so instead of whining or waxing philosophically abiout this, i think i will move into action and get a few things accomplished this morning. after all, it is a good day to recover.

∞ DT ∞