Blog entry for:

would move a little faster so i could find some comfort!
yes and if wishes were horses...
how many other clever little slogans, bromides and bon mots, can i drop in this morning? how about this one: “growth is not the result of wishing but of action and prayer.”
yes, recovery and growth is the result of ACTION. i often wonder how long i can get away with doing the bare minimum in my recovery life, and the answer is always the same, not very long at all. i am of the type that seems to NEED more than just attending a meeting every day to stay clean and daily meeting attendance has been something i have NOT done in quite some time. for me, it seems that step work, practicing active TENTH, ELEVENTH and yes TWELFTH STEPS, sponsorship and service, has to be a part of how i live. sure i can pay lip service to being all about the newcomer, when in fact i am all about being all about me. i go to meetings so i have the OPPORTUNITY to give away what i have been given. i give it away, because that is the ONLY way i can KEEP IT. self-interest to the max. i serve in jails and institutions, because when i hear that electronic lock snapping closed behind me, i know that could be my fate, if i decide that sumthin', sumthin' is what i am about today. i make no pretenses about being some sort of spiritual guru or evolved being, because i have been there, done that and certainly have the “T-shirt.”
i look over my day, because it makes me feel better to have a clue about where i could have done better and where i excelled, once again i am doing something for my recovery BECAUSE it makes me feel better, more whole and certainly more genuine. so when i start wishing that i was growing more, and i do, i have to look at what it is i am not doing.
am i just phoning my recovery in?
when was the last time, i read the JFT?
when was the last time, i sat in a meeting and did not look at my phone?
when was the last time, i called my sponse, just to say hi?
when was the last time, i sincerely ask the POWER that fuels my recovery for the opportunity to be a better man?
the litany of last times, could go on and on, fortunately though, i have to get rolling on down the road to work. as i walk through today, i will carry with me, the reminder of what happens to people like me, who forget that first and foremost, i am an addict and i NEED to be vigilant about doing the next right thing for my recovery.

∞ DT ∞