Blog entry for:
Mon, May 14, 2012 06:38:54 AM
¡ mistakes are not tragedies !
posted: Mon, May 14, 2012 06:38:54 AM
Higher Power, please help me to learn from them!
quite honestly, i still hate to make mistakes, and when i happen to make one, i would more than ever, i would prefer to bury them so deep from the light of day, that no one would ever, ever see them. as is visible to all who are reading this, i am not as well as i purport to be! i am still concerned about how i look and what others think of me. so exactly what is the point, i might as well toss it all, and go out for one good use! the part of me i call addiction, certainly makes that sound rational, after all…
… that however is part and parcel of how not being honest with myself, sounds of so rational and practical and yes even spiritual at times. being honest is far more than how i interact in the world, despite what someone had to get in as the last word at the meeting last night. i know today, that i am more dishonest with myself than anyone else in the world, and the tricky part is, i lie to myself the same way i lied to the world, editing the truth to get the best effect. ironically, when i act on one of those lies, i am actually practicing humility as well as integrity, because i am doing the next right thing, based on bad information. which seems to be the nature of the sort of mistakes i am making lately.
i want the world to look a certain way, so i move people and events to help fit that vision, and the addict within tells me i am doing it for the good of mankind, or some other bullsh!t spin, to keep me from really looking at my behaviors and seeing what it is i am really doing. the mistake, is doing it again and again, to keep the spotlight off of me and my step work and focus it anywhere else. and that my friends is the nature of my addiction today. realizing that, i could make all sorts of promises and resolutions, but not keeping them would feed the beast and provide yet another arrow in the arsenal against myself. so i will end with this: i will make mistakes today, i will acknowledge them for what they are and so my best to learn what i need to learn from them.
quite honestly, i still hate to make mistakes, and when i happen to make one, i would more than ever, i would prefer to bury them so deep from the light of day, that no one would ever, ever see them. as is visible to all who are reading this, i am not as well as i purport to be! i am still concerned about how i look and what others think of me. so exactly what is the point, i might as well toss it all, and go out for one good use! the part of me i call addiction, certainly makes that sound rational, after all…
… that however is part and parcel of how not being honest with myself, sounds of so rational and practical and yes even spiritual at times. being honest is far more than how i interact in the world, despite what someone had to get in as the last word at the meeting last night. i know today, that i am more dishonest with myself than anyone else in the world, and the tricky part is, i lie to myself the same way i lied to the world, editing the truth to get the best effect. ironically, when i act on one of those lies, i am actually practicing humility as well as integrity, because i am doing the next right thing, based on bad information. which seems to be the nature of the sort of mistakes i am making lately.
i want the world to look a certain way, so i move people and events to help fit that vision, and the addict within tells me i am doing it for the good of mankind, or some other bullsh!t spin, to keep me from really looking at my behaviors and seeing what it is i am really doing. the mistake, is doing it again and again, to keep the spotlight off of me and my step work and focus it anywhere else. and that my friends is the nature of my addiction today. realizing that, i could make all sorts of promises and resolutions, but not keeping them would feed the beast and provide yet another arrow in the arsenal against myself. so i will end with this: i will make mistakes today, i will acknowledge them for what they are and so my best to learn what i need to learn from them.
∞ DT ∞
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
Another Look!
∞ seeing my mistakes as evidence that i am still too damaged to recover ∞ 383 words ➥ Sunday, May 14, 2006 by: donnotδ i often regard my mistakes with shame or guilt Δ 548 words ➥ Monday, May 14, 2007 by: donnot
μ in truth, mistakes are a very vital and important part of being human. μ 488 words ➥ Wednesday, May 14, 2008 by: donnot
↔ MISTAKES! i often regard my mistakes with frustration and impatience. ↔ 650 words ➥ Thursday, May 14, 2009 by: donnot
∗ one defintion of insanity is repeating the same mistakes ∗ 689 words ➥ Saturday, May 14, 2011 by: donnot
∑ for particularly stubborn people (such as addicts), ∑ 736 words ➥ Tuesday, May 14, 2013 by: donnot
♣ in fact, making new mistakes ♣ 524 words ➥ Wednesday, May 14, 2014 by: donnot
¡ OOPS ! 670 words ➥ Thursday, May 14, 2015 by: donnot
∴ mistakes ∴ 561 words ➥ Saturday, May 14, 2016 by: donnot
🏁 making new 🎯 702 words ➥ Sunday, May 14, 2017 by: donnot
🌵 repeating the same 🌵 426 words ➥ Monday, May 14, 2018 by: donnot
🌧 shame and guilt, 🌪 468 words ➥ Tuesday, May 14, 2019 by: donnot
🛑 a sign 🚫 428 words ➥ Thursday, May 14, 2020 by: donnot
🙃 different results 😵 650 words ➥ Friday, May 14, 2021 by: donnot
😢 being human 😢 288 words ➥ Saturday, May 14, 2022 by: donnot
🌷 autonomy 🌵 447 words ➥ Sunday, May 14, 2023 by: donnot
😵 insanity is 🤪 465 words ➥ Tuesday, May 14, 2024 by: donnot
☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge
Book 2
1) The softest thing in the world dashes against and overcomes the
hardest; that which has no (substantial) existence enters where there
is no crevice. I know hereby what advantage belongs to doing nothing
(with a purpose).