Blog entry for:

be room for growth.
the very nature of this topic, directly leads me to two paths. i can continue down a path of how what i see in my peers, friends and acquaintances, are the parts of me that i dislike the most, or i can speak directly to the topic, only using their examples very obliquely. quite honestly, i grow weary of writing about their antics, good, bad or indifferent as a jumping off point for me, so i believe i will take the other path.
one of the behaviors that really irks me, is others cherry picking and misusing quotes, and when presented with the actual quote, ignore the ignorance they just professed. one of my shortcomings, is i take great pleasure in correcting those malformed quotes and usually hammer home the point that what was passed off as common knowledge, is not. one of that is almost used by the gun lobby, comes Josef Stalin; “Ideas are more powerful than guns. We would not let our enemies have guns, why should we let them have ideas.”
the second sentence is almost always included without context to bolster the straw man argument that any sort of gun regulation must be a bad thing, look at what Josef Stalin said. i am not a gun nut, nor a gun control freak, and probably sit very square in the middle of this argument and my point is not that either side is good or bad, but to show that when i choose to, i can life a phrase or two out of literature, misuse it, when i discover i am on shaky ground. this is especially true of when i feel “attacked” by someone who is not close to, taking my inventory. between me and my friends there is a give and take, which may appear mean-spirited, cold and cruel, to someone observing us. quite honestly, if i am not on the receiving end of a raft of sh!t, about my foibles, i wonder what the fVck i did, to piss them off. that is just how i roll. i use the jibes i receive in those relationships, to better myself and move along. however when it comes from someone out of my immediate circle, i get severely butt-hurt and defensive, ready to give back the same or greater injury. that too, is just how i roll, and that is what i am trying to allow the recovery process to change. being defensive and lashing out, are very familiar behaviors. i do NOT, however get the old pass of what did you expect, i am only human and an addict to boot!
that may work for others, as it worked for me, for a very long time, today i have knowledge and i can no longer plead that i am acting out of ignorance. i make mistakes, but do not revel in them. i am arrogant, proud and conceited at times, and when i choose to i can cut another person to pieces in a matter of minutes. yes, my first reaction to someone pointing a behavior out, is to spring like a panther on a unwary animal of pray and rip out their throat. STEP SEVEN, is morphing me into a person, where i can consider, even for a split second, whether or not that is the appropriate action to take. the HOPE in that is that at least these days, i am more likely to choose to walk away with everyone's dignity intact, even if i have formed an opinion, that necessitates, pounding you into the dust you came from.
it is getting to the time where i need to head on down to work. as a closing thought, another tidbit from Josef; “Everyone imposes his own system as far as his army can reach.”
today i will allow the POWER that fuels my recovery and the spiritual principles of this recovery p[rogram, to limit that reach.

∞ DT ∞