Blog entry for:

Sat, Apr 17, 2021 08:46:52 AM


🛑 when i stop 🚽
posted: Sat, Apr 17, 2021 08:46:52 AM

 

talking and listen to what is going on around me, i GET the opportunity to seek what i actually need top find and learn at least one more thing. living in a world between being a socially retarded and being seen as someone who is confident and self-assured. is a weird spot for this addict. sharing my Dad's journey to his death with my friends and family on Facebook, has opened up a new audience for these little bits of mind-dumpery and i have yet to reconcile how i feel about that as well. the simple fact of the matter is, that i live in a world where i am exposed to my peers in recovery and have dome my best to keep that on the down-low to casual acquaintances and family members. one might think after two decades or so of doing this gig, i would have lost the FEAR of wowing who i am and the process that brought me to this place in my life.

Jayme P.
Twenty-three (23) years clean.
Keep Coming back, no matter what!

Ryan B.
Eight (8) years clean.
Congrats on finding the way to do this gig, Just For Today.

after the bittersweet celebration of my birthday, where no one could figure out what to say to me, after all my Dad had just died, so “happy birthday” did not seem appropriate, i can actually say, that as diametrically opposed “sorry for you loss” is to birthday wishes, it sums up my feelings about being on the edge of accepting myself and showing that self, in a pure and unadulterated manner to all those people who pass through my life. that life includes regular meeting attendance, even if it is a ZOOM meeting. that life includes being honest, even when honesty hurts, especially with myself. that life includes owning the consequences, good or bad, of my decisions. that life includes, sitting down, shutting up and paying attention to what is happening around me. i GOT to be part of the process of easing my Dad's journey into whatever comes next, because of the life i have been given. the living amends i am making to him will be one of the most difficult tasks in my life and will require a sense of grace and balance i may still lack. i claim no moral high-ground with my decision to live what i said i would. i know that doing so, will not kill me and it certainly will teach me a thing or three about my own human condition, which is probably better than i think it is, just for today.

∞ DT ∞

 

djtConsulting Brand
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.

Another Look!

∞ the love and joy that fills our meetings has kept me clean another day ∞ 519 words ➥ Monday, April 17, 2006 by: donnot
∞ i attend meetings for a variety of reasons, ∞ 459 words ➥ Tuesday, April 17, 2007 by: donnot
∞ i have learned was that if i want to stay clean, ∞ 346 words ➥ Thursday, April 17, 2008 by: donnot
δ following the suggestion of my sponsor, i made a commitment … 543 words ➥ Friday, April 17, 2009 by: donnot
¬ i have learned that my priorities can be 180 degrees reversed ¬ 504 words ➥ Saturday, April 17, 2010 by: donnot
≠ more than one or two meetings a week just do not seem to fit into my busy schedule ≠ 785 words ➥ Sunday, April 17, 2011 by: donnot
± it IS the everything else that needs ± 563 words ➥ Tuesday, April 17, 2012 by: donnot
⇒ no matter how hectic my schedule, ⇐ 336 words ➥ Wednesday, April 17, 2013 by: donnot
α in my heart, i know that meetings benefit me α 661 words ➥ Thursday, April 17, 2014 by: donnot
∂ at the direction of my sponsor ∂ 352 words ➥ Friday, April 17, 2015 by: donnot
😎 priority: meetings 😎 571 words ➥ Sunday, April 17, 2016 by: donnot
🌚 i attend 🌕  463 words ➥ Monday, April 17, 2017 by: donnot
🌤 i often discover, 🌪 527 words ➥ Tuesday, April 17, 2018 by: donnot
💩 ceasing to ** share ** 💬 369 words ➥ Wednesday, April 17, 2019 by: donnot
😵 i want  😶 593 words ➥ Friday, April 17, 2020 by: donnot
🤗 just because 🤗 506 words ➥ Sunday, April 17, 2022 by: donnot
😏 goodwill 😌 443 words ➥ Monday, April 17, 2023 by: donnot
🌜 the atmosphere 🌛 473 words ➥ Wednesday, April 17, 2024 by: donnot
Spacer Image

☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯

THE TAO TEH KING, OR THE TAO AND ITS CHARACTERISTICS
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge

Book 2

3) Who is content
Needs fear no shame.
Who knows to stop
Incurs no blame.
From danger free
Long live shall he.