Blog entry for:

i can persist in efforts to improve my conscious contact through prayer and meditation on a daily basis.
what i **should be** doing is wading through the stack of e-mails that has arrived while i was away and deal with all the requests and just plain silliness that is contained in them. i have been hard at it almost forty-five minutes now, but decided that it would be better to stop, breathe, and get a bit spiritual before i waded in again. so here i am pondering the nature of my spiritual awakenings. i have said it before, and although it does not need to be repeated, i think i will for my clarity. anyhow, for me, spiritual awakenings are a gradual events, that unfold over the course of time measured in days and months and not seconds or minutes. i so not have burning bush experiences, nor is my revelation revealed in a clap of thunder or accompanied by an orchestral swell. so for me, recognizing a spiritual awakening especially when i was just getting started on this recovery gig was difficult, and very very frustrating. i was tempted to, and often lied, in those early days, so that my experiences matched those of my peers. honestly, as i look back on those days, those lies were not that far off the truth, the events they described, were occurring in my life, but at a pace i was unable to comprehend. it was and has remained like watching glaciers move. yes glaciers do move and sometimes many inches a year, but if i just sit and watch, those inches are imperceptible to me in the here and now. the only way i can measure the movement of those glaciers is to put a stick in front of the base, and come back days or months later and see where the base of that glacier is relative to my stick. so it is when i am looking at my spiritual condition. since the changes that occur in real-time are beneath my ability to perceive. i measure my growth by looking at my reactions (the stick) to the various slings and errors that happen to me in the course of daily life (the glacier), to see where the growth has come and where it apparently is going, at least for now.
whether or not i perceive spiritual growth, i still do what i can to foster that process and as a result i am better off, spiritually and emotionally. for me, this is the easier and softer way! that being said, it is time to get back to my responsibilities and clean out my in box. i am however a bit shell shocked, from tropics to the snow in twenty-four hopurs, is a bit much for any person to handle!

∞ DT ∞