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the handiwork of the POWER that fuels my recovery is certainly not a bad manner in which to start my day. although i tire over hearing C.hristians I.n N.ame O.nly (CINOs), cramming their particular slant on what is and what is not down my throat on any platform that will allow them to spew their venom, i also know that there are many spiritual members of the Christian Faith who actually do their best to live up to the ideals they believe in. the topic of GOD's handiwork, such as it, can cause me to go down the rabbit hole of stereotyping all of those who choose to live and believe as they do, with those who practice intolerance and hypocrisy. the fact is, i do not know and i need to, for my own sanity, stay in my lane, spiritually anyhow. CINO or not CINO, i know that distinction is not up to me and according to their beliefs they will be judged and appropriately sanctioned when their time comes. my lane is to live by the principles that allow me to function in this world and not leave a wake of chaos and destruction behind me.
part of that “handiwork” i can see and appreciate this morning, is the ability to see and be myself, no matter what. as i come out from under the illusions i lived under for so long, i see that those to whom i cede my power to, will always greedily take and consume it, leaving none for me. life for me these days is not about what i can get, although i certainly do enjoy the “getting” part, but moving more towards what i can give. the balance between getting and giving has always been a tricky one for me. way back when, giving was all about getting something in return. whether that quid pro quo happened in real time or five years after the fact, there was always a string attached to what i gave. in fact, when i did not get my expected return, i was one pissed off MoFo! after coming to recovery and after many years of finding a spiritual path that fit who and what i was, i came to see that life in my skin would never be easy if i did not abandon some of my old and familiar ways. giving and loving with no expectation of return is part of who i am trying to be, to the best of my ability today. it does not happen 100% of the time, but i do not expect it to flip back to less than 1% of the time, any time soon.
as i grow to love and appreciate who i am, i can see the handiwork of the POWER that fuels my recovery, especially in the attitudes and behaviors IT fosters within me. i know that i am worth being respected and loved, by myself and by others. i know that i have a spiritual path that i can follow today, without having to compromise anything i believe. i also know that i can react in a less than stellar manner when confronted with ideas and behaviors that i identify as part of myself, IF i choose to do so. just for today however, i think i will do my best to walk the path before in the sunlight of a spiritual program that feeds all that i am.

∞ DT ∞