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My program is a process not an event. I have had a number of awakenings over the days that I have been clean. I am not sure what the first one was, but I remember the day that I was no longer compeled to look for drugs. There wasn't a set time. It was probably that I went through a tough time and my first thought was not of getting high, but what my part was and what I needed to do to make it right. Today I have awakenings when my serenity is disturbed. If I am angry I look at why. It usually has nothing to do with the other person, it is usually something to do with what I don't want to look at. I never thought about that when I was using. My best thoughts were how to blame you and how to get high. Today when most people were angry about having to drive in the snow, I was thinking how pretty it was. Big change for me today. I may have just realised that I am doing things differently, but they didn't just change. That takes time. jt