Blog entry for:

...employment, household responsibilities, friends, sponsees, relationships, meetings, and service in equal weights so that the scales balance. well maybe not equal weights, but definitely in weights to find the balance i need in my life. part of my problem, is that in all of this balancing and adding and subtracting i ignore myself. sure i think about what work i need to do to make the money i need to pay my bills, to maintain the lifestyle to which i have become accustomed. that sort of list goes on and on, but when it comes time for me to add doing something good for me, i never seem to find the time. so then i end-up in my default behavior -- work until i am brain dead, then turn on the TV and veg until it is time to go to bed for the evening. not exactly a healthy manner of living. i am good when it comes to being good to myself in the physical realm. i run, i see an acupuncturist, and i get a massage every other week. that stuff is all new and has become a nonnegotiable part of that balance i am seeking to find. it seems i can certainly find the time to do service without that much whining. i can almost always find the time to listen to a sponsee talk about what is going on in his life, but i rarely find the time to call my sponsor just to check in, even though i have a reminder to do so on my calendar. i stress the importance of doing step work top the men i sponsor, but my notebook has an inch of dust on it these days.
so all in all, i need top find balance to finding balance. yeah i know how ironic that sounds, and what i am discovering as a result of this step cycle, is that i am as important as the fellowship, my clients, my friends, my significant other, my family and everyone else in the world. IF i am as important as them, THAN I NEED TO TREAT MYSELF accordingly by adding some grains of FUN TIME and DISCOVERY TIME that is just about me. the time has come where it is necessary to find out what i like to do away from the computer and away from the fellowship. perhaps it is fused glass, perhaps it is rafting perhaps it is a poke in the eye with a blunt stick. i really do not know. whatever it is, i will not be able to find it, if i choose not to seek it out, so the balancing act just became a bit more precarious -- now i need to add a new set of me time activities, without taking away from my previously scheduled ones, such as it is.
well, with that in mind it is time to care of my physical side and hit the streest running -- literally! i will ponder and take action on this new revelation and see what i come up with, after all, i am WORTH IT!

∞ DT ∞