Blog entry for:

of looking at myself, my actions, my attitudes, and my relationships on a regular basis. the real rub of this reading, at l;east for me, is that this is something i already do, so when i come across, readings that feel like they are preaching to the choir, i think move along, nothing to see here!
there is, however, ideas, notions and understandings buried withing for me, IF i open my mind and let the words resonate within. yes, IF i practice a different step, i can see the nuggets of wisdom contained in a reading about STEP TEN.
what stuck out for me, as i sat quietly and allowed myself to listen to what is going on, around me? it certainly was not some sort of need to get started on something. no what i heard, is that there are endings to everything, and over the course of the next few days., it is time for me to get rid of some of the dangling tasks, that i have been stalling on spending the resources to complete. what also struck me was that i am as imperfect as the next guy, to foster anything but forgiveness and getting stuff done, in my workplace, is counterproductive and not part of the culture that my employer is trying to maintain. yes, someone has really seriously messed up across the course of the past five days. yes, we all have been spending massive amounts of non-productive time, to fix what was done, BUT, even though i want to rail and rally about doing this and not doing that, the fact is, it could have been me. when i think about how i would want to be treated in a similar or even the same situation, i come back to that is how i NEED to treat someone else. yes the golden rule, in the secular version.
which sort of brings me to another topic. one of my online news sources, has had an series of articles about the decline in the number of people in our country that identify with ANY sort of organized religion. their perspective was certainly an interesting one, and one of the commentators in the series,. says this decline is due to people being self-centered and self-absorbed and not wanting to expose themselves, their actions and their feelings to ac community of others who share a FAITH. while that is certainly one way to look at it, it has been my experience, that even those who are in a community of FAITH, act as badly and with total disregard about what their community until they get CAUGHT, then the tears, apologies, and the mea culpas, start to fly. they behave no differently than those who are not part of a community bonded by a common FAITH and yet, at least in the opinion of the author of the article, they are somehow less selfish and self-absorbed because they are part of that community. certainly an interesting interpretation and one i find far too simplistic. it is as if the fear of being found out somehow excuses their action, because of the consequences they will face if they ever get clean, namely having to take responsibility for their bad behaviors. it certainly is interesting how some find GOD, only when their a$$ is in a sling.
being one of the growing majority, who does not identify with organized religion, i have the means to check my daily behaviors and see what needs to be discarded, as well as what needs to be retained. it is not FEAR of being ostracized or excommunicated that keeps me in check, nor is it FEAR of some eternal reward or punishment either. no, for me, it is a desire to be more than i was yesterday and i know only one path for me, that allows me to meet that goal, just for today. that path is the structure of the 12 STEPS as seen by the community of recovery, that i have become a part of over the course of my clean time. without the FEAR of damnation looming over my head, i GET to make choices based on an entirely different set of criteria, starting with: is this going to be apart of the problem or part of the solution, or something in between. with that in mind, part of my solution is to get rolling on out the door, to help get things returned to working well and making money for the people who are paying my wages today.

∞ DT ∞