Blog entry for:

well, it has been quite a day since i read this around seven AM. i shoveled snow, twice, slid over to Boulder to meet with my new sponsee and attend my home group, slid home, walked the dawg and decided that i am staying in for the rest of the day. as i take a minute to collect my thoughts, i know for certain, that maybe i have a new definition of surrender: having the open-mindedness to see things in a new way, as well as the willingness to live differently. i have struggled with surrender forever, and i have been seeking a definition that suits me better and this just may be it. i will be working that notion over and over again for the next few days, to see if it is really one with which i can live.
the topic at hand, however, is change and how i can live it. i know for a a fact that if i continue to stay clean and live a program of active recovery, change is inevitable and more than once in the near future i will be jolted out of some comfortable spot, that is not where i really need to be and into a new stop on my recovery journey. the facts are plain as day, when i need to change, no matter how hard i resist it, i will change and have to deal with a brave new world of whatever my life happens to be afterwards. i can sincerely say that when the pain of not changing becomes greater than the pain of changing, i embrace change, but for the most part, not one nanosecond before that happens. anyhow, it is time to watch some football and do absolutely nothing for the rest of the day, save, perhaps some walking in place to get my step count closer to 11,000. one never knows what will strike me, as i watch Houston and Kansas City play football.

∞ DT ∞