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once again i am back around to a reading all about something i was so clueless about when i walked in to the rooms, it was worse than a foreign language, it was like some ancient, and dead language without a Rosetta Stone, pretty to look at, but absolutely indecipherable to me.
where i failed the other night, to carry the message, was i did not share with my heart, i shared with my head, and what i carried was my opinion, not the message of HOPE, that i strive for. perhaps i do need to take a break from that facility as well, top see if i can get my heart back into what i share. or at least that is what the part of me i call addiction tells me to do. this failure is the start of an unbreakable chain of failures and of course, failure sucks, so stop taking the chance, stop practicing, because if i do not do, than i cannot fail.
that of course, is the exact wrong path to take. in this case, FIRST THOUGHT WRONG! as i sit down and allow this to percolate through, i remember all the stuff i wanted to say, yesterday in this exercise and totally forgot. it was irrelevant to the reading yesterday but it is sort of relevant today. what i was going to write about, does not have a whole lot of empathy contained within it, it actually starts out that one particular religious tradition is based on a lie. Christmas is the celebration of the birth of Christ, not the anniversary of that event. it was created to appease the pagans, who were desirous of the mid-winter holiday they had observed before converting, so from the very start, Christmas, the day itself really does not have a lot to do with religion and more to do with appeasing the masses. just saying. before you get all ballistic and hateful, look it up and you will see that i am not wrong. all this shrill screaming over how secular a holiday has become, is really just white noise, as this was started as a secular holiday, to attract the masses, regardless of what Sarah Palin may think and sell a million books about, she too is just wrong.
anyhow, with that said, i get what the day is all about, it is about giving of myself to others, in a selfless manner, or would be, if i were some sort of saint. i do my best, but fortunately, i am way too secular, to always ignore the cash register and scales that are part and parcel of the whole gift giving experience for me. it is what it is, and i think i will leave that as it is and get headed down the road to work. it is a good day to be clean.

∞ DT ∞