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and the POWER that fuels my recovery, the more i understand this language and it keeps me coming back.
it took me quite a while to understand what this reading was talking about. at first, i thought i was empathetic when i entered the rooms, after all, i could always sense when someone was down and out, and i would pounce for the emotional and spiritual kill. when i was taught that was not empathy at all, or if it was, the skill-set i had developed around that ability, need to be discarded, i was more than a little put off. i mean WTF, really, don't you know who i am?
with that definition in the trash heap, i came to believe that i might be sociopathic, so for the next few years i pretend to practice empathy, made all the right sounds, but basically skipped over or tuned out everything anyone had to say about the subject. after all, in petulant sulk, if i could not do what i wanted than F_CK you all anyways.
I DID KEEP COMING BACK, because you all kept telling me, that i COULD and WOULD finally GET IT, even though i was not sure i wanted to get anything but off paper and back to the life.
IT is that i feel what you feel, i have been where you have been, and i can go where you are now, IF i allow myself to practice a program of recovery.
as the weather has turned a bit inclement i need to hop in the shower and head on down south. perhaps on intermission this morning i will write a bit more, or not. TODAY i am certain that i am on the correct path and will do what i can to foster that journey.

∞ DT ∞