Blog entry for:

yes, i do have a great life. most of the time i am grateful for it, and when i am grateful, doing the deeds i do, to make recovery my priority is not a chore. from time to time, my ego takes over and yes, doing the recovery gig, seems far too much of a burden, after all, can i not just take a few days off and be okay? i can, and have done so in the past. one of the disturbing things i have been hearing lately is members, especially newer ones, hanging out in bars, because they like this activity or that, and the ONLY place they can have that bit of fun, is at the bars. to me, that sounds like a relapse waiting to happen, even if drinking was not their thang. the other disturbing trend i detect from the margins, is that they can somehow rescue or save someone they love from active addiction. both of those ideas are so full of holes, in my opinion, that i will not say anything more about them. for me, changing who i hung with and where i hung out, was the only way i could stay clean. recovery is a gift for me, as it is the only path to anything beyond the mundane world and my opportunity to become more than i ever dared dreamt was possible. i would certainly love to tell them how wrong they are, and all they are doing is paving the road to yet another relapse. i would love to, but these days, i try and keep my opinions about that sort of behavior on the down low, unless i am asked to express it.
okay, a bit of ADHD here, it is weird to have an automated voice, calling off the stops as we travel the route to Boulder, just goes to show how technology creep is changing even the most mundane bits of everyday life.
so where was i? well i am at Ken Pratt and Hover. i am going to 28th and Glenwood. spiritually i am okay this morning. physically i am still fighting off a cold, it has nearly run its course and tonight i will get to sleep the whole night in bed, at least that is what the plan is, right here and now. financially? well my car needs a few repairs, i am actually going to have a crown done, and of course there is the buying frenzy that is part of this holiday season, so in that respect i could be better. emotionally, well this morning, i am thinking too much about some of the members i love, who i see drifting out the margins, and beginning their spiral down the tubes, back to the life. i want to say a prayer for them, but of course i do not do that as a general rule, and in fact get a bit pissy when someone asks me to pray for this and that. what i can and will do is to stop, ask the POWER that fuels my recovery to present them with whatever they happen to need today, to better their lives and let it go. in fact, i have more than likely run out of things to say this morning as well, so i will close within this thought: it is my responsibility to step up to the plate, recover in a responsible manner and allow the world to flow as it will. i am grateful i have a way of living that allows me to be free from the ravages of active addiction and so much more.

∞ DT ∞