¢ i have to KEEP my recovery first and my priorities in order ¢
Posted: Thu, Dec 2, 2010 08:44:15 AM
so here i go again. looking at my priorities, well not really, this is one of those readings that i have no problem accepting emotionally, or intellectually. it is one of those NO-BRAINERS for me PERIOD. so i guess i am done here and i can go grab a shower and head out.
well if i had nothing else on my mind, that would of course be the most prudent use of my resource this morning, HOWEVER there is all sorts of stuff rolling around my noggin this morning. one of the the loudest things shouting at me, is learning to let go. i know i have been writing about this transition between steps that i am going through, and although that is still on my mind, i have quite surprisingly let go of that and decided to see what happens when i stop obsessing about it. as much as i am one of those ‘action’ type of addicts, when it comes to steps anyhow, the best action here, is NO ACTION at all, tough as that may be for me, except to call my sponsor and check-in.
with that out of the way, i can now look to what my various sponsees are doing, and where my priority NEEDS to be with them. two of them are so tied up in school, that i do not expect to hear from them for at least ten or fifteen more days, i hope they are okay. the two sponsees i saw last night are on such different tracks that i wonder if one of them needs to find another sponsor. it is beginning to feel like one of them is manipulating me against the other one, and as they live in quite close quarters. my priority here NEEDS to be to maintain my distance from their squabbles. although i am wondering if there is any real squabble going on, as only one of them reports any strained person relationship issues. one more thing to let go of, and just see what happens, my gut feeling is that this is something like sibling rivalry and if i do not feed it, it will resolve on its own.
i also got my weekly phone call from a sponsee, and he is finding all sorts of stuff to do, to put off finishing his work. i also know that pattern all too well, as that has been and probably will once again be, one of my favorite ways to avoid doing what i know i NEED to be doing.
the rest of my sponsees? tough to tell, as they are not calling. hence my desire to give my sponsor a jingle today. my ass may not be in a sling, but a quick check-in is more than likely a healthy thing to do today, along with NOT canceling my massage. my health, spiritually and physically, is my priority this morning, and a program of recovery is the path to living those decisions to the max.
what will this day bring? who knows. one thing i do know is, that i NEED to jump into the shower and get moving towards the next right thing. i am grateful that i have such a simple priority list this morning, RECOVERY FIRST and following that lead, see what comes next.
well if i had nothing else on my mind, that would of course be the most prudent use of my resource this morning, HOWEVER there is all sorts of stuff rolling around my noggin this morning. one of the the loudest things shouting at me, is learning to let go. i know i have been writing about this transition between steps that i am going through, and although that is still on my mind, i have quite surprisingly let go of that and decided to see what happens when i stop obsessing about it. as much as i am one of those ‘action’ type of addicts, when it comes to steps anyhow, the best action here, is NO ACTION at all, tough as that may be for me, except to call my sponsor and check-in.
with that out of the way, i can now look to what my various sponsees are doing, and where my priority NEEDS to be with them. two of them are so tied up in school, that i do not expect to hear from them for at least ten or fifteen more days, i hope they are okay. the two sponsees i saw last night are on such different tracks that i wonder if one of them needs to find another sponsor. it is beginning to feel like one of them is manipulating me against the other one, and as they live in quite close quarters. my priority here NEEDS to be to maintain my distance from their squabbles. although i am wondering if there is any real squabble going on, as only one of them reports any strained person relationship issues. one more thing to let go of, and just see what happens, my gut feeling is that this is something like sibling rivalry and if i do not feed it, it will resolve on its own.
i also got my weekly phone call from a sponsee, and he is finding all sorts of stuff to do, to put off finishing his work. i also know that pattern all too well, as that has been and probably will once again be, one of my favorite ways to avoid doing what i know i NEED to be doing.
the rest of my sponsees? tough to tell, as they are not calling. hence my desire to give my sponsor a jingle today. my ass may not be in a sling, but a quick check-in is more than likely a healthy thing to do today, along with NOT canceling my massage. my health, spiritually and physically, is my priority this morning, and a program of recovery is the path to living those decisions to the max.
what will this day bring? who knows. one thing i do know is, that i NEED to jump into the shower and get moving towards the next right thing. i am grateful that i have such a simple priority list this morning, RECOVERY FIRST and following that lead, see what comes next.
∞ DT ∞