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only after surrender am i able to overcome the alienation of addiction. so what is the difference between being different and being unique? an interesting question to ponder very quickly this morning. being unique means, at least to me, that i have my own set of assets, defects, strengths, weaknesses, opinions and desires. all of that makes me uniquely me. no bigs, right? well when i use my uniqueness, to separate myself out from others, as i am so fVcking different than all of my peers, i start to think all sorts of crazy stuff, such as: the steps will not work for me; i can drink or use a little pot, successfully; that i can take what i want from the program of recovery and leave the rest; OR even based on my lack of hardships in active addiction, maybe this is not really where i belong! a quick digression:

Jay T
Congrats on 16 years
of doing the recovery gig,
ONE DAY AT A TIME!

when i walked into the rooms, the last thing i wanted to be, was the same as everyone else. this whole situation reeked to me of cultism, and i was far too smart to fall for this Kool-Ade! well, after partaking of that drink, i am not dead, nor am i ignorant or any dumber than when i walked into the rooms. i am, however, without any doubt, an addict. as i continue to take direction from my sponse, my peers and yes even the POWER that fuels my recovery, i see that i can work the same program, not be different and still maintain the unique being that is me. i have been lucky in that i have not had to seek outside help. more and more i find, that when i work a very conservative “by the book” program, i get far more rewards, than when i treated it like a Chinese menu, pick one from column one…
each day, i choose to stay clean, build my connections to the fellowship and the POWER that fuels my recovery and just try and do the next right thing, i see more and more, just how much i am like my peers, no matter what their current circumstances.
anyhow, time to slide over to Boulder for my home group. it is a great day to be clean, no matter what!

∞ DT ∞