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unity does not equal uniformity.
as i was sitting in the meeting last night, i heard a member share about themselves, the exact stuff i was thinking the day before. without going into the details, i was amazed at the loud boom that transcended the room as the withdrew their head from whence it has been lodged and actually became part of the rest of us. and then i heard what i dread, the “it's all about the newcomers,” mantra from another of my peers. i really hate that notion, because for me, it is all about the still suffering addict, who may or may not be a newcomer.
it is certainly a good thing, that the theme today is UNITY and UNIFORMITY, because if i had to spew all that sweetness and light bullsh!t about how i am only there for the newcomer, i think i would puke, and i would have certainly moved on to another home for my recovery. as you can tell, i am not one of those who fawns over newcomers, although i have been known to help more than a few of them, find a road to recovery. as i sit here this morning, i am grateful that there are those who do, so i do not have to. i can concentrate my energy on helping the still suffering addict, the ones that show some willingness, to get what i have got. honestly, i go to meetings to remain firmly rooted in my fellowship. i go to meetings, to be reminded of what i am. i go to meetings to hear what i need to hear, and i go to meetings, to get rid of the emotional pollution of addiction. the message i carry is a simple one: “an addict, any addict, can stop using, lose the desire to use and find a new way to live.” after all, look at me, because that was once who i was. i am a firm believer in telling it as it is, right from the start and that attitude is certainly not necessarily in lock step with my peers, which is a good thing.
yes, i get that my ideas can be grating and have caused contention in the past. yes, i also get that i have a manner of imposing my ideas on others that is manipulative and over-bearing. guilty as charged! so for me, part of being unifying, is to learn how to express my ideas more quietly, intelligently and allow others to form their own opinions, whether or not i think those opinions are fVcked-up. i GET to have opinions today and i also GET to learn to express them in a manner that allows for unity. that same freedom applied to my peers, they get to express theirs, and just because theirs and mine do not necessarily align, we can work together to fulfill the purpose of our fellowship: to carry the message to the still suffering addict, even those who have more than a few days clean.

∞ DT ∞