Blog entry for:

uniformity. so the simple fact is that i work a very personal program of recovery, tailored to fit who i am and based in principle on the tradition of the fellowship i call my home. those principles and that wisdom, is filtered through my sponsor and my peers, and i have a program that is not only methodical, but works for me on a daily basis. when i try and impose my program on others, well the results are far from stellar, most of the time. before i start rolling down that line:

Kurt L
3 years of “Just for Todays”
I'm glad you kept coming back!

when one really looks at it, all i have is my experience, strength and hope to give to anyone else. what works for me, even the little picayune stuff i have done since the beginning, could work for someone else as well, or not. once upon a time, i expected the men who asked me to sponsor them, to do it exactly as i do, or find another sponsor. today i know that although the HOW of my program is important, so is the WHAT, as in what i do every day to stay clean and further my growth. both of those notions are very important in my recovery and in my experience, those who follow a similar path, seem to be living a program of recovery that allows them to thrive, rather than just get by. the sad fact of life is that not every one who comes to the rooms wants to stick to a rigorous program of recovery, even though there is evidence that their lives have been improving since they learned to surrender to the FIRST STEP. sadly i have a peer in my life who seems to have decided that this recovery gig, is a sham and not actually doing anything for them, and as a result is in the process of burning their life down again. they got clean, got their life back very quickly and started the march back to self-sufficiency, which i hope does not lead to their early demise. unfortunately, things are exactly what they seem for this addict and the worst part is, that i am powerless to stop their march into the maws of active, as in using, addiction, if they have not already crossed that threshold.
yes, i know my program, and how i apply it in my life bis the product of a few days of doing this “just for today” in a row. my program at thirty days clean, two years clean and today, are worlds apart, but they have elements in common, that i believe allow me to maintain a life that is based on recovery. fitting recovery into my life, is not what i am about today, and amazingly i got all sorts of time to do other things, when i allowed my life to fit into my recovery. as i grew, so did my interests, my social skills, my friends and my world opened up. i see that same result all around me, as my peers, start to learn how to adapt the program into their own personal version, sometimes successfully and sometimes, well that is an ancient and bitter story to tell.
i can honestly state that no one needs to do what i do, to stay clean today. no one needs to do what i do, to grow into the sort of person they once dreamed of being. BUT anyone can take what i have, try out what i do, and alter it into their personal program., to see if they too, can have what i have. that is where the unity comes in, i am tied to my fellowship by the STEPS and the recovery literature that is being published still today. i am tied to the fellowship by my sponsor chain, as there is not stepping outside of those lines. most importantly i am tied to this fellowship bt=y an abiding sense of gratitude for allowing me the FREEDOM to become so much more than a slimy junkie, shucking and jiving my way through life, and hoping that no one would compare notes. today i am clean and ready to give away what i have, to anyone who asks, and be okay with the fact that mthey may not want ity after all.

∞ DT ∞