Blog entry for:

here to give me a message i was unready and unwilling to hear. nevertheless, they did not change their tune, no matter how angry, abusive and abrasive i acted. today. i know that i still have that debt to repay and it is my task to carry the message that ANY addict can recover, IF they CHOOSE to so. once i chose to be a member of the fellowship that provides me the ways and means live a program of recovery, i GOT to find a new manner in which to live my life. this morning as i sat and debated whether or not i would work out in the elements or not, i saw that being a protector of the faith, was far from a unifying behavior and one that i am grateful in which i no longer NEED to indulge, most of the time! 😜
before i do a deep dive into what i feel my role is in the fellowship that is my home and how that role needs to be modified to be a part of the whole, i need to do a shout-out to a friend who i never believed would make it to his second meeting.

Joel H.
Congrats on SIX (6) years clean
Two Thousand One Hundred and Ninety One Just for todays!

and so it goes…
at the meeting today a newcomer shared about being a member of three fellowships and was looking for his third sponsor in this fellowship. i certainly wanted to talk to him about the dangers of cross-fellowshipping, based strongly on my own experience. i made a choice not to, because i was fairly certain that the message i was trying to convey would be lost on him and might drive him from our rooms. i also know that from my own hard won experience as the members that were here, kept telling me that i did not need more than one fellowship as here is the place where it all fit under a single umbrella. i had to arrive at the place of finding my path, through the misery of not fitting in anywhere and showing more than one face in the rooms of recovery. today, i am grateful that no matter how hard they attempted to dissuade me from the course of two fellowships for a single problem -> addiction, they allowed me to stumble into this fellowship on my own and welcomed me with open arms, when i finally did.
moving into this day, i think i desire to get caffeinated before football and a lazy afternoon at home rather than at the cigar bar. the beauty of doing that is i can get my laptop up to date, finish this little exercise and be good with what i did today and where i am, physically, emotionally and spiritually. i will take a shot of humility with a double dose of tolerance as a backer, just for today.

∞ DT ∞