Blog entry for:

sharing my experience, strength, and hope with others, regular meeting attendance, and practicing the principles of the program in my daily life.
so right off the bat, i do not claim top be a whole lot of things, i am not a spiritual giant, a **GOD** guy, or the most social outgoing dude at the party. there have been times when i wanted to be all of those things and so much more, but as i grow in my program of recovery, i have found that what i have a healthy dose of cynicism and the ability to make quick and fairly accurate judgements, serves me better than the attributes that i am not proficient in. sure i could be all of those, all i have to do is practice, practice, practice, but being who i am is a better option for me today. what does any of this have to do with a simple program? well this simple program, asks me to be humble, and accept who i am, right here and right now. i could talk the talk, as many of my peers do, but when it comes to walking that talk, well that is where i want to excel, whether they do or not.
the program, simply put, makes me who i am today. there be dragons, each and every time i stray into comparing myself to my peers, friends and associates. when i return to being who i am and working with what i have, i need not worry, those who will be my friends, will be my friends, and those who are not, well they are not. sometimes, i see myself playing a zero sum social game, and that is when jealousy, envy and spite build up inside of me. today, well today, i really want to be free of that unholy trinity and it is not therapy, religion, new age psycho-babble or affirmations in the mirror that will free me from those energy draining emotional states.no for me, and i am speaking for myself only, the only way to break the destructive chains, is through the simple program i have been given.
over the past seventy-two hours, i have been given the gift of contrasts, from my peers, associates and friends. what i get to do is walk this path the best i can, without blowing any smoke up anyone else's @$$. i have a POWER in my life that provides everything i need to stay clean today. that POWER may not have a form, name or any human attributes, but i am clean today and have been for a stretch of days, i have a set of principles that provide guidelines to this social retard about how to behave in public. i know i did not “hang the moon,” and am humble enough to accept that even if it makes me look bad, perhaps someone else sees something i do not and needs not be shot down down and burnt down for telling me. most of all, i have a place to go, regardless of my current emotional, spiritual or physical state, where people “get” me and there is very little i need to explain about who or what i am.
yes, i can be complex, with ulterior motives, hidden agendas and glaring defects of character, but that does not mean i need to run and hide in a dark basement somewhere. what that means is that if i accept a few simple things, i have a path to being better than i am, one day at a time.

∞ DT ∞