๐ a complex person ๐
Posted: Fri, Jul 1, 2022 08:38:10 AM
such as myself, requires a simple program, and the program of recovery i CHOOSE to live today, is simple. do noott mistake simple for easy, although with time, as i haave habituated to living an active program of recovery, some days it feels easier. today is not one of those days, the flight to Iceland landed it us in town at 6 AM local, midnight mountain time and i have been awake since 4 AM yesterday, Mountain time, so it has been twenty-four hhours without any good sleep. i skipped meditation as i am still living in just for yesterday, that will change in another twleve hours as i shift into the here and now in Iceland, but for right now, i need to be cautious about what i say and certainly what i do.
when i speak of living an active program, that includes when i am on vacation. as tough as traveling may be on me, and it is, i have to be hyper-aware of how close i am to having my last nerve worked. right now i am a bundle of reactions and defensive postures. the why is obvious and needs not be made into an excuse for bad behavior. everyone else is napping and here i sit all charged up and ready to walk up to the church on the hill and go up the tower. perhaps that will be my next plan, let go and wear myself out the rest of the way. i am just waiting to see when we get our room, before i take off on my own. i guess being patient will be my watchword until we are comfortably ensconced in our room.
when i speak of living an active program, that includes when i am on vacation. as tough as traveling may be on me, and it is, i have to be hyper-aware of how close i am to having my last nerve worked. right now i am a bundle of reactions and defensive postures. the why is obvious and needs not be made into an excuse for bad behavior. everyone else is napping and here i sit all charged up and ready to walk up to the church on the hill and go up the tower. perhaps that will be my next plan, let go and wear myself out the rest of the way. i am just waiting to see when we get our room, before i take off on my own. i guess being patient will be my watchword until we are comfortably ensconced in our room.
∞ DT ∞