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between a balanced recovery and simply not using, for me anyhow, is like night and day. trust me when i say, that i am familiar with both states of being and mere abstinence sucks! i know that i often go the path about how much easier my life is, when i am working an active program of recovery on a daily basis. what i do not say often enough, is how much simpler it is. not having to tap dance and prevent everyone from peeking behind the curtains, allows me to live in a state of balance and serenity, for the most part. my life still can suck and not everything happens as i desire it to happen, BUT when the sh!t comes rolling downhill, i have the ways and means to handle it.
i went for a hike this morning and could only feel confident about going three quarters of the way up to our goal, as my leg has not progressed as far as i had thought it had. it was rainy, cold and extremely windy, so i did not feel to upset about how far i made it. what that tells me, is that i need to do some more easy hiking over the next month so i might be able to get a 14'er summit under my hiking boots this season. whether or not that will happen depends a lot on what happens with my cancer. i am certainly hoping July 12th will be a one and done sort of thing. nevertheless, i will live my life as if that is the case and see how full i can make it.
as for the rest of the week, i am considering setting up a website for my Fantasy Football league. that might be a great way to waste a few of the empty days i have stretching in front of me. certainly another hike and more than one cigar will be in the cards as well. maybe even a meeting one or two days this week. who knows?! 🤷

∞ DT ∞