Blog entry for:

for someone who sees himself as deep, complex and rational.
all of that and a whole lot more. lately i have been all over being disrespected time and again, by people who say they are part of my life. much of what i have written involved my feelings and most of those feelings are what some call “negative.” me, by virtue of the program, does the best job i can to remove judgement labels from feelings and move on. what i also have decided is that it is time, just to move along. i really do not need to keep duplicitous, disrespectful and hypocritical people in my life. that does not mean i have to hate on them, disrespect them or even let them know they have been “x'd,” it just means that emotionally and spiritually, i have moved on. it is ironic when i think of my relationships over the course of my days in recovery, how often i was on that other side, expecting everything, offering nothing and whining about the results to anyone who would listen.
this simple program consists few elements and it is the path, at least for me, to a better life. that life includes all sorts of stuff, but that stuff, material possessions, relationships or jobs, is not the ultimate goal, that little trio is not even the penultimate goal. all of that is gravy. let me say that again, so i perfectly clear everything i get or will get in the physical world, is a result of my this spiritual program, are simply artifacts of the growth i have found through following the tenets of this simple program. none of those artifacts is evidence of anything, but are the result of me becoming something i was not, whole, genuine and self-aware. part of that trio of attributes, is the right to stand up for myself and walk away from situations that are not healthy for me, and get on with my life. that right, such as it is, is based on the simple program, i CHOOSE to live today. the decisions i make, the time i eke out for myself and those i choose to allow in my life, are simply the result of doing this gig, and i no longer care to jump through anyone else's hoops, no matter how butt-hurt they may become, because of that decision.
anyhow, got to run for my first day in the office since Monday. i have work to do, places to go and people to see, and all of this is not just because i stopped using. no, stopping using was the easy part, learning how to live in this world, not so much. good thing i have a simple set of guidelines to follow, just for today.

∞ DT ∞