Blog entry for:

to acknowledge how wonderful i am, by declaring my membership in a Twelve Step fellowship.
here is sit writing a little bit of a semi-random mind-dump that i publish on the internet and add a link to in both FaceBook and Twitter, so how seriously am i taking this entire “humility through anonymity” gig. one would be correct that i do not do this for it to languish in obscurity, i want to be read, to be quoted and to be asked about the stuff i write here, by those who understand what the fVck i am writing about and where i am getting my material. i barely disguise what Twelve Step fellowship i am a member of, and i do that to protect my fellowship from me. yet i make no secret in these pages that i am clean and have been so a for a bit of time., in fact if one looks below, you can see the progress of me through my recovery journey as evidenced by the links to my thoughts in the past, so what i am doing here is giving someone who cares to, a chance to glimpse at how i have changed across the days i have been clean. is it practicing humility through anonymity? more than likely not. might it be instructive to someone else? possibly. do i deserve kudos for being so open? not at all, as i get far more out of this than any of you, as i get to share what is on my mind, exactly like it is, without have to wrap my thoughts, feelings and reactions to life, without any sort of spiritual camouflage for consumption by my peers. yes i find here the freedom to be a bit more myself and spout all sorts of outrageous notions, because i own this and i am alone in having the responsibility for the content of this exercise.
to be sure, i know i have insulted and disparaged others across the time i have been writing this. i also know that more than once i have ripped topics from the headlines off today's news, to illustrate a point or drive home a polemic. this is not some sort of sideways amend or an admission that maybe i am doing something wrong. today, i am just responding to what i felt when i sat down and listened and wondered how sharing my daily thoughts fit into the whole topic. the one thing i did not do, is go back into the time capsule and see what i wrote in years past. i make no apologies for what i write here, as it is what it is.
moving along, finally, i can say that in all other areas of my life, i certainly do maintain a Chinese wall between my identity as a recovering addict and the rest of the world. hell, my aunt had been reading these little ditties for a bit of time, before i announced on FaceBook that i had fifteen years clean. my social connections and possible employers could find this out just by a quick Google of me, so the fact that i am practicing anonymity by hiding in plain suite is an interesting concept. sometimes just being out there and not worrying about who or what stumbles upon me, is okay. today, i am an addict who is in recovery and i am grateful that i have the FAITH to practice those same things that got and kept me clean, way back in the dark ages of my recovery journey.
so where is all of this leading? well i can say i am not a perfect example of practicing humility through anonymity. i am better at it in face to face relationships, than in the bits and bytes that are the internet. in this case i may only be working a 90/10 program, although in reality it would be more like 98/2. one day i will tire of doing this and it will disappear into the bit bucket, but that day is not today. today i can say that i myself welcome the taco truck on every corner and will do whatever i can to facilitate that eventuality. 😜 it is a good day to be clean !

∞ DT ∞