Blog entry for:

situations and flat out mistakes that could overwhelm me can be made bearable, with an application of my sick and twisted sense of humor. as many of you may know, yesterday was one of my most frustrating days in recent history. the pile of petty annoyances, my own missteps and mistakes and the thwarting of the plans i had made, reached a point that was basically intolerable to me. lack of sleep and time away from my computer contributed to my certain unease in the air. i was bereft of any sense of perspective and lacked the ability to see the humor, irony or absurdity in the cards i was dealt yesterday. i did not use. i did not consider using, but i certainly wanted to inhale a cigar down to my toes to get a heavy dose of nicotine. i did not do that either, i persevered and when i read the reading this morning, i just had to chuckle, as i lost the ability to defuse my frustration with a dose of humor, when i was in the thick of it, yesterday.i was almost afraid to look at my work e-mails before writing this, as i did not want to be back where i was yesterday afternoon.
the issues at work have not gone away and i have an issue or three that is mine and mine alone to deal with today. what has change, is how i feel after a good night of sleep and the ability to get some exercise in, before i start going head down into looking for solutions, where none currently exist. what also has changed, is i see the absurdity of me taking on the software defects of our new version of the application, as some personal affront. it is more than ironic, that as the crappy day that started with me not looking to see if something was plugged in (🤡) only got worse as i swallowed each and every glitch as a personal affront to me. the fact is, most of went wrong yesterday was not my fault and when i look back at my reactions, i really need to laugh, otherwise i would be curled up in the fetal position on the floor wailing madly about the injustice of it all.
what is my plan this morning, as the hits keep rolling in? get out and take a very long and very hard power walk as soon as i post this little ditty. allow myself the freedom to laugh a little and wonder what will happen if something else fails across the course of the day. most importantly take a breath, let go of how i want to look to my client and be okay with what is going down. i did not write the code and i cannot fix it. i can work with my client, hold their hand and gather as much information about what the issue is, see if i can correct it and pass it on. time to move along and see if i can find my sense of humor and perspective, just for today.

∞ DT ∞