😬 losing self-obsession, 🙄
Posted: Fri, Jun 19, 2020 08:05:08 AM
or better put, learning to live a life that is not all about me. got to admit it, this morning i am a bit put out that it is raining when i want to do my morning **walk-about.** as i listen to the rain pounding on my roof, i have to laugh at how delicious the humor of this situation happens to be. here i am, feeling frustrated about a weather event that i have absolutely no power over. i may have little power over feeling frustrated as well. there is a choice here for me, accept that it is raining and that for absurd reasons, i feel frustrated. responding to that feeling, by dwelling on it, only makes it worse, so my best course of action is to accept that i feel that way and move on. in reality the rain will stop and even if i have to don a raincoat and deal with wet and cold feet to get my workout in, it is not worth the effort to fret and get all “angsty” about.
what i heard as i sat this morning, was more than a bit disconnected from the reading. i know that, in the greater scheme of things, i am just another human being. i may fantasize about being “more” but the greatest lesson humility is teaching me, is that i am all too human and the way i think and behave is certainly fodder for a bit of laughter and merriment. when i get off my soapbox and climb down from the pedestal, i get to have a realistic view of my place in the world. while it is true that i can be and often am, slavishly self-obsessed, it is also true that i have grown beyond having that as my overarching concern, twenty-four/seven. this morning, as i alter my very comfortable routine to the current weather conditions, i can be okay knowing that the word need not revolve around me and that as this day passes i will be able to laugh at how absurd it all is.
so i think i will wrap this up, before i start getting all self-deprecating and self-abusive. it is a good day to be clean. it is a good day to have the desire to do some physical exercise. it is a good day to allow myself the freedom to feel the crazy feelings that i may have. most of all, it is a good day to remember that without this program of recovery, i would not be sitting here fretting about what i cannot do, in the manner in which i want to do it, exactly when i want to do it.
what i heard as i sat this morning, was more than a bit disconnected from the reading. i know that, in the greater scheme of things, i am just another human being. i may fantasize about being “more” but the greatest lesson humility is teaching me, is that i am all too human and the way i think and behave is certainly fodder for a bit of laughter and merriment. when i get off my soapbox and climb down from the pedestal, i get to have a realistic view of my place in the world. while it is true that i can be and often am, slavishly self-obsessed, it is also true that i have grown beyond having that as my overarching concern, twenty-four/seven. this morning, as i alter my very comfortable routine to the current weather conditions, i can be okay knowing that the word need not revolve around me and that as this day passes i will be able to laugh at how absurd it all is.
so i think i will wrap this up, before i start getting all self-deprecating and self-abusive. it is a good day to be clean. it is a good day to have the desire to do some physical exercise. it is a good day to allow myself the freedom to feel the crazy feelings that i may have. most of all, it is a good day to remember that without this program of recovery, i would not be sitting here fretting about what i cannot do, in the manner in which i want to do it, exactly when i want to do it.
∞ DT ∞