Blog entry for:

to move on and live a life beyond my wildest dreams. sounds like a scam artist sales pitch, does it not? when i heard members sharing along those lines, way back when, i certainly thought that they were missing any sort of grip on reality. even a year ago when i was struggling to summon up the courage to look at why i believed my identity was suspect, by writing a FOURTH STEP, i wondered if i had already gotten all the freedom i was going to get and i would just have to settle for it. after a jarring FOURTH STEP and an emotional FIFTH STEP, i know now what i was so afraid at looking at, and am ready to move along in the step process to integrate this recently uncovered knowledge, into my life.
i know some of those who stumble upon my musings, have no idea what it means to live in the prison of active addiction, or what it feels like to get their first breath of freedom, when the desire to use is lifted from them. as someone who has felt the grip of addiction in his life, i will never be able to put myself in their shoes. i am grateful that there were others here, when i got here, that knew what i was and could give me the direction to be something more than a using addict, even before i was willing to take any action myself.

Chuck C.
Congrats on Thirty-four (34) years clean.

thinking about living in the moment between Steps FIVE and SIX, has brought me to a place where i certainly cannot control my character defects, but i am becoming quite aware of them, maybe cynicism and sarcasm are no longer serving their purpose and need to be let go, after all, i have a bit of HOPE today. i really do not believe i will become some sort of sunshiny bright person, if i took a bit of the edge off, but i really do not know where the next steps will lead me. anyhow, as i want to get a big workout done, before i end-up in a car for hours on end this afternoon, ii better wrap this little ditty up and get some steps under my belt, just for today.

∞ DT ∞