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and the newcomer, is one of those topics that i believe are way overworked in the fellowship that has given me a home. i have to admit, i do see the importance of being open and welcoming to the FNGs that walk into our meetings. the part that gets me, is the gyrations and bending of traditions some of my peers attempt to foist upon our fellowship under the mantra of “what about the newcomer.” most of the times i roll my eyes and silently lament their willful ignorance and keep my opinion to myself, until i am asked. the fact of the matter is, welcoming a newcomer and allowing them the freedom to find their place in our fellowship, through kindness and compassion, is not the same as coddling a newcomer and making them a project to help oneself stay clean. in my experience, very few “projects” ever grow into full-blown members of the fellowship and most of those who were allowed to find a way and ask for the help the needed, stick around for at least a little bit. it seems to me, and this is of course my opinion, those of my peers who require a “project” to stay clean are missing one or more elements of an active program of recovery and are substituting their “help” for the work they need to be doing for themselves.

Chuck C.
XXXVI (thirty-six) years clean!
Congrats my friend.

anyhow, where i end up with all of this, is how can i make my home group more welcoming and hospitable to anyone who happens to walk through our doors? i am not worried about what a newcomer may think, but if i do my best to warmly welcome anyone who walks in, i am certain a newcomer would feel welcomed, as well. this is certainly a one-size-fits all solution that i can implement without any need to ponder on it, anymore. it is a good day to be clean and time to head to the cigar lounge for some politically incorrect discussion, a cigar or two and football. which i find a relaxing and apropos ativity for this afternoon.

∞ DT ∞