Blog entry for:

i have done enough of my recovery program leads down all sorts of dark and twisty places. today, on the morning after, all sorts of things bubbled up to the surface, fist and foremost was me beating myself up for tripping over a crack in the sidewalk while running yesterday, thereby cancelling my plans to summit Missouri Mountain. also on the top of my mind was my experience setting a very hard boundary with an extreme consequence yesterday, with someone i love. for me, it went very well. for them? not so much, as they appeared to be blindsided by my request and denied that it had ever happened in the past. that was not an unexpected reaction, as they are often very guilty of rewriting their past. so it goes, i am freed from the burden of having to carry that crap any longer and they acknowledged the behavior and the consequence.
before i go down a rabbit hole:

Chuck C
Congrats on Thirty-five (35 - XXXV) years clean!

going back to the relief i feel. i got something huge off my plate and allow someone else to make a choice. they told me “not to worry,” and i told them, i would not, as it is no longer my stuff and as i have always been powerless over how they acted. in the cold harsh light of this new day, that choice has always been theirs and not mine, the only thing that has changed is that they are now well-informed as to the consequence for choosing the wrong path. now i can attend the same social events as they do, without trepidation of what beans they may choose to spill, as i am fairly certain that the consequence is very unacceptable to them.
anyhow, the time has come to do a bit of work, enjoy a cigar and get some heat on my knee, to encourage healing. i guess that being too stoved up to see the top of the world today, is not such a bad thing, after all. it is after all, just life on its own terms and i agree to take that in stride when i asked for the power to get through this day clean.

∞ DT ∞