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LONGER settle for the limitations of my past, as recovery has provided me the means to destroy that particular prison with extreme prejudice. whether i was born into those limitations or cultured into them, does not matter, as i REFUSE to accept them as limits on how to live my life. of course, there are certain things that are physically impossible for me to do. knowing what is possible is one thing, accepting something that is well within my ability to accomplish as beyond my reach is yet another. i refuse to sit on my a$$ and allow myself to slide down into irrelevancy and decay, even though all that i do on a daily basis, may make absolutely no difference in the long run. i am still going to get old, i may get decrepit and fail and i will certainly die. i do not deny any of those, BUT, i need not look to those events as inevitable and just let them creep up on me. i want to live the best life possible, and right here and right now, it is doing as much as i can do on a daily basis. including taking care of myself.
after staying up too late last night and getting up too early this morning, i “got” to go on an eight mile hike to somewhere i have never been before. twice now, my hiking buddy has attempted to get me to renege on our deal, he drives i buy lunch. it is true, he ordered something that was a bit pricey, BUT one of the limitations i do not place on myself, is rationalize away what i accepted as my responsibility. in the long run, i believe his pricey lunches more than equal the amount of resources he expends getting us to the trail heads and back again. i am no longer a person who keeps a running tally in my head about what i do for my friends and acquaintances and suffer from the limitations of getting pissed off when they do not achieve a zero balance on that “divine” ledger.
time and again, i surprise myself with a new awakening to who i am actually becoming. one of these days, i may even transition into a truly spiritual person, tied to an earthly existence through my physical body. i am not holding my breath waiting for that to happen, but i can see myself inching closer to that reality, just for today. i am already living beyond the limits i once used to constrain myself and if i continue doing what i have been doing on a daily basis, i am sure that even more will drop away.

∞ DT ∞