Blog entry for:

knows no borders, yippy-skippy and Kum-By-Yah, let us all come together and be one happy family! okay, i have to admit that is more than a bit of my cynicism creeping out. when my source material zooms way out and attempts to bring everything and everyone under some sort of “unity” umbrella, instead of focusing on my individual application of spiritual principles, i get a bit put off, to say the least. i know why this reading is here, it is time for Unity Day in the fellowship that is my recovery home, hence the seed of coming together. for me, there is a kernel of truth in what the source material had to say, but it did not come until the last paragraph and i feel it certainly was not nearly enough. before i go there, however…

Kathy Mc,
thank you for being a part of my life.
Oh yeah, CONGRATS on XXIII (23) years clean!

coming back to the bit about me, because i am all about me, what i heard when i pitched the general stuff about unity, was that in my relationships within and outside of my recovery circle, there i am dependent on others to provide what i need to get through another day of active recovery. they, too, need what i have to give them to help them through their days. the two-way street of my relationships is something relatively new to me, as i was not all that giving even after a minute clean. in fact it has only been the last decade or so, that i have been growing into the loving, kind and empathetic person i always fronted that i could be. in the past three years, especially, i have grown to see that no matter how one-sided a relationship may look, there is certainly a mutually dependent core to it, and there is nothing wrong with that. i may not be able to identify what my pay-off is in my current dealings with an addict who may actually have graduated to mere abstinence, but i am more than sure there is one. maybe it simply is getting a bit of encouragement to keep on my path, so i do not end-up being where they are.
the other notion that popped off the stack today was that even though i may want to keep ,the world at bay and out of my shit, that effort is mostly useless and far from harmless. when i forget that i need to be able to rely on my peers and friends and they need to be able to rely on me, i see what true interdependence really looks like, on a micro scale. sure looking at things on a macro scale is nice, and things on that scale, certainly affect me recovery. in my daily life, however, talking that as a given and doing what i can to foster that, is best done by being the best person i can be today and by living a program of active recovery, just for today.

∞ DT ∞