Blog entry for:

that allow me to live in harmony with myself and those around me. for some reason i took a bit of umbrage to the term **real values,** this morning. being living a life based on vanity, selfishness and greed, is just as real a life based on selflessness, humility and generosity. even though the former set, may not be as desirable as the latter, they are both sets of **real values.** so i do not get accused of tossing the baby out with the bath water, i can say that i prefer a life by the latter, even though the former are far more familiar to me. the term many of my peers use is “old behaviors,” but i prefer familiar behaviors, as i can quickly return to that state. i, however am digressing. instead of using the term “real”, i find that the term “positive” is certainly more appropriate for the values used to illustrate the point. yes , i know semantically nitpicking is just something i do, to fit what is being said into the system of beliefs i already possess.

Kathy Mc
17 years of doing it clean.
Thank you for teaching me how to live with someone
and how to allow someone to live with me.

and now back from a real distraction, FaceBook, not just one that is semantically created.
having dealt with my objection and eliminated the part of the reading i found vexatious, i certainly do understand that the set of values, i choose to live by today, are more appropriate and less harmful than the values, or lack thereof, i ascribed to, back in the day. those values, were harmful to myself as well as to those with whom i shared my life and the echoes of those actions still ring in my ears today. although very few of the people who were the most affected by my life-style are in my life today, i am not absolved from the mess i left behind. ironically, the one person from back in those days, that reconnected with me, told me in no uncertain terms that i was not an addict, because i did not use that much more than he did. the irony of that statement, is that his wife died from the complications of untreated alcoholism, through which he survived. his definitions of what is or is not an addict, is apparently based on the comparison of his wife, who could not stop using and myself who has been clean for a few days in a row. there has to be something inherently different between the two of us. i would certainly like to believe that as well, HOWEVER, i am no different than she was, i am simply dedicated to living a program that gives me a replacement for my addiction and the means to live a life that does not rely on the uncontrollable use of anything. looking at what and how much i used, is far from an appropriate measure of whether or not i am an addict. i see it as an cheat and certainly a loophole. i may not be glad that i am an addict, but a life in recovery, that has taught me to live a life that is not based on the finding the ways and means to use mass quantities of drugs, is certainly a desirable life, at least for this addict.
that being said, one of the values i live by today, is that i give my employers what they pay for. that being said, it is time to post this little ditty and move into the a world where i can meet a few expectations today. it is a great day to be clean and celebrate the milestone of another addict, who just happens to be a major part of my reality, these days.

∞ DT ∞