Blog entry for:

enough to be able to trust, is one of the side effects of learning how to live a program of active recovery. among the values i walked into recovery with, was the notion that NO ONE is worthy of my trust and trusting someone would ALWAYS lead to consequences that were less than desirable. even though i was not burned every single time i trusted someone, i was burned often enough to live life with a huge barrier between what was important to me and the world in which i found myself. in my experience, i can honestly say that since i learned to trust myself, i now have learned when and with what i can trust others. yes, this is still a bit of FEAR there, and as my first sponsor, anything i do not want to see on the front page of the local paper was probably something i should share with closed-mouthed friends or my sponsor, only. my ability to trust has grown with my ability to discern who i can trust. i continue to grow in this respect and am certainly better off than when i came to recovery.

Kathy Mc.,
CONGRATS on XXIV years clean!
Thank you for being the one person who can live with me and
with whom i cannot live without.

right here and right now? well in this moment i am okay with what i have not accomplished over the weekend. as much as i think that i “should” have done more, when in fact, i feel more than okay with what i have done , who i have done it with and what i may may do as i wrap this up and post it to the inter-webs. i am going to undo one of the executive decisions i made regarding fantasy football and allow the managers to suffer the consequences of their bad decisions based in desire. i know what i did was the next correct thing to do, but i also know that doing it without any notice was not quite right. i also redid the draft order as it was far to similar to last year's order. anyhow, enough of this., as it is time to finish my laundry and get the heck out of the house. i know who i can trust and i am willing to do so, just for today.

∞ DT ∞