Blog entry for:

based on the principles and ideals that have real value in my life. i understand that the reading was about replacing the values i had when i was in active addiction with the values i have adopted along the road of recovery. yes i could comment long and hard, going down that track, and i would make the generals so proud of how i could parrot the party line, like i have in the past. honestly, the party line is true for me. as i work a program of active recovery the behaviors that once were so dominate in my life, based on the lies i told myself are being diminished. i am becoming a person who lives a value and ideal based life. so there you have it, i can stop, grab a shower and get some work done, but wait there is more…

FIRST OFF.
10 years clean SWEETIE, AWESOME!
KATHY Mc you fill my life and complete me.
THANKS AGAIN FOR ALL YOU DO

…and still more. as the title of this blog seems to hint at, what struck me this morning was not the mundane value and ideal replacement cycles that recovery has wrought in my life, no what i heard when i could slow down enough to listen was that how my decision-making process has been altered by that value replacement cycle.
that process, while important and a necessary ingredient in what seems to be a deeper understanding of what recovery is doing to me, has to have evidence of improving my life, or else i will quit it. i have always been like that. yes i know immediate gratification is part of the addict within. i also realize that the whole evidence based FAITH gig, goes directly to that part of me. so that begs the question, am i making better decisions and if so why? to answer such a question i would have to take a quick inventory of the decisions i have made. i make what seems like an infinite number of decisions on a daily basis, although i am certain that the number is quite finite. anyhow, most of that vast number happen without me even realizing it, after all, just driving an automobile involves decision after decision that are based on experience and reaction rather than any deep though process. so those i can mostly ignore. i say mostly, because there are some automatic decisions, decisions i have made for years without thinking about them, first and foremost was the automatic manner in which i decided to use, back in the day. that has been mostly replaced by the automatic decision to stay clean, no matter what. if i stopped there, i could certainly say that my decision-making process has been improved by value replacement. as i look over the decisions i made yesterday, for the most part most of them were neither negative or positive for me, they just were. i made some bad decisions yesterday, and yes i even rationalized (lied to myself) about them to make me feel better. i made some very good decisions yesterday, and those needed no explanation. anyhow, as i ponder the question i see that the manner in which i make decisions today is better and without a doubt more conducive to a positive direction to my life in general.
so on that note, i do believe that i can now decide to hop in the shower and get cracking on the projects i need to complete today. it is after all a good day to make the best decions i can make.

∞ DT ∞