Blog entry for:

sitting here this morning, far from my home and my significant other on her clean date, i have to wonder whether or not i am any less selfish than the day i walked into the rooms. it is true that i could manufacture a hundred reasons why i had to take this particular journey at this particular time. the worst part of that, is that they are all valid. way back when i would not have considered the feelings of anyone else, when it came to taking an “adventure” and just went blithely along on my merry way. before i took off, i did talk about why i wanted to do this and how this trip fit into my life.
all of that aside:

Kathy Mc,
love of my life,
CONGRATS on TWENTY(20) years clean!

when i sit down and consider my values these days, i do see that i have changed. instead of dashing off with little or no consideration given to my family, my loved ones or my employer, i made plans taking into consideration how they would affect them. it is true that i will have a whole lot of stuff to deal with when i get back, but i can accept that consequence, these days. i know my responsibilities will not go away, no matter how much i may wish they would. i also know that what i do for myself, pushing beyond the limits of what someone of my age “should” be doing, is not a bad thing either and is certainly a result of my the value i put on myself.
now that i am done eating and taking care of some other “natural functions” it is time to pack up my stuff and prepare for 11 or 12 miles of hiking up and down a couple of 14K peaks. as i “huff and puff”and generally beat the living crap out of myself, i will remember that i CHOSE to be here today and this is what i CHOSE to do, because i am worth it. when i return to the world tomorrow, i will take care of everything that is on my plate. today and just for today, i will live by the values ii have come to see as mine, and perhaps, if i allow myself to live this program, i will decide to do the same thing tomorrow.

∞ DT ∞