🎯 i found 🎯
Posted: Mon, Mar 9, 2026 07:12:04 AM
a way out of active addiction and a new way to live. i did not come to the rooms expecting either. i did not believe i was an addict or that i needed a new way to live. i was only here to get off paper and return to my old life. ironically, somewhere along the way i stumbled into the desire to actively participate in my recovery and stick around, way past my expiration date. this morning as i recover from the time change that really does nothing but put money into the pockets of the recreation industry, i “heard” that something more was happening inside of me, after working with two of the men that call me their sponsor. one of them shared his 5TH Step with me, the other contacted me by txt for the first time in over eighteen months and both redetermine by their deeds that i am more than just an addict with some clean time.
i know that once upon a time, this was not a future for me. i know that the harder i pushed everyone away, the more i started to feel as if i might actually belong here. i know in my desire to appear to be the model of the recovering addict, i did and said things that i ended up having to make amends to my home group and my area service committee, as my actions did not speak to unity. ego, low self-wroth and self-respect and entitlement drove me in those days and when i believed i was defending the fellowship, i was actually all about looking good and cementing my status. those days and the damage i was causing are behind me, but i sometimes think that i was a poor role model for some who follow in my footsteps. i know they make their own choices and it is not my job to correct their belief structures.
anyhow, just for today, i can and will be a unifying force in my local fellowship, embracing all my peers with equality and equanimity. i will walk into this day knowing full well that what i do and say just might make the difference in the lives of those around me. i do not need to hide my light under a bushel or fade into the background, but i do not need to be the loudest voice in the room either.
i know that once upon a time, this was not a future for me. i know that the harder i pushed everyone away, the more i started to feel as if i might actually belong here. i know in my desire to appear to be the model of the recovering addict, i did and said things that i ended up having to make amends to my home group and my area service committee, as my actions did not speak to unity. ego, low self-wroth and self-respect and entitlement drove me in those days and when i believed i was defending the fellowship, i was actually all about looking good and cementing my status. those days and the damage i was causing are behind me, but i sometimes think that i was a poor role model for some who follow in my footsteps. i know they make their own choices and it is not my job to correct their belief structures.
anyhow, just for today, i can and will be a unifying force in my local fellowship, embracing all my peers with equality and equanimity. i will walk into this day knowing full well that what i do and say just might make the difference in the lives of those around me. i do not need to hide my light under a bushel or fade into the background, but i do not need to be the loudest voice in the room either.
∞ DT ∞