Blog entry for:

a problem that just is not going to disappear. i know the relief that comes from just talking about my problem with my recovering friends. whatever they do, they ease my burden.
i have discovered that i, too, can ease the pain of others just by being present and providing a bit of whatever i can do. so although this reading is about reaching out in times of painful distress, it also speaks to me of what i can do when i am asked for help in relieving the pain of those with whom i share my recovery. for one, i cannot remove that pain, nor do i have the resources to rescue anyone form their painful situation. the distinction is of paramount importance for me, because one of the behaviors i learned across my active addiction is that fixing other people, allows me to ignore working on myself. however i will just leave that point to another day, after all, like one of those caring counselors in treatment told me, " scratch an addict deep enough and you will find a raging co-dependent!"
so what is this reading also say9ing to me this morning, since i have already eliminated the first topic that came to my mind. well for one, no matter how bleak and ark the problem i happen to face is, i am not alone. there are others how love and care for me. there are others who can willingly provide me the emotional support i need to get through this clean. there are others who have been through whatever i happen to be facing and came out of it clean. taking all of that into consideration, what i need to do i share about my pain, be it in a meeting or one on one with those recovering people who can provide me the means i need to stay clean today, no matter what. a part of the problem with that ideal, is that i am concerned about appearances. somewhere across the course of my socialization, i picked up the notion that any sign of weakness or frailty on my part would be pounced on, and i would be consumed by the wicked, vicious world. that attitude probably served me well in active addiction, BUT i have come to realize that in active recovery, that attitude will kill me! with that in mind, a quick inventory of my problems is in order…
… and nothing i am facing right now is causing me any pain. all i have is luxury problems, that is problems that arise out of living life in recovery, and nothing that is causing me any longterm pain today. rest assured, if that changes i will let you all know, after all, it is all about me and my recovery today!

∞ DT ∞