Blog entry for:

today i can think of no unresolved problems in my life. oh sure, i have a few luxury bitches, all of us do, but for right now there is nothing pressing down on my spirit. it has not always been this way, nor do i expect it to remain so. over the past twelve months i have had to deal with my powerlessness of watching a close friend die from a terminal and painful disease. the process of coming to terms with his illness and ultimate death felt like something i could not handle and in fact the desire to use was upon me more than once. something i have learned in my brief stint in recovery is that there is nothing i need to face alone. and during that period, i picked up the practice of calling another recovering addict every single day. that little action created within me the ability to reach out in times of personal crisis and ask for help. no longer am i stoic rock, cut-off from my feelings and unable to open myself to the assistance of those who love and care for me. i have also had the opportunity to lighten the burdens of some of my peers in recovery. the illusion that i cannot get through anything that happens without the help of others has been shattered and i am grateful that it did not take the use of drugs to shatter that illusion, nor did it take me reaching a point that suicide seemed to be a viable alternative.
all because of the care and love of a POWER GREATER THAN ME, THAT PROVIDES FOR ALL MY NEEDS. and one of the ways that power is demonstrated is today i have people in my life who do care for me and show me concern, whether i ask for it or not, DAMMIT!
∞ DT ∞