Blog entry for:

and that is okay. i have learned that i, too, have a special message to share. once again back to acceptance of who i am. although i am once again in a **quiet phase** when it comes to sharing in the meetings i attend, i have come to realize that having a goal of becoming a convention circuit speaker is hardly something i need to focus my attention on. yes, it would be wonderful to travel the fellowship and share my story, and perhaps one day i will do just that. these days however, i am quite content to stay home, travel to a few local meetings and conventions and be just another addict in recovery. some of the speakers i have heard lately…
… oops i do not need to go there, after all this is about me and not other people. so why has my one time goal of becoming a circuit speaker altered across the course of my recovery? after all, i can be quite a good public speaker when i properly prepare my speech. well for me, my story is something that needs to flow as a stream of consciousness. i enjoy picking and choosing from my varied experiences, in active addiction, in abstinence or in active recovery. how that all goes together at any given moment is a mystery and one that i really enjoy unfolding in real time. as a result, i can never be sure as to what my focus will be, what direction i may take or how my share will come out. that me6thod of sharing may or may not lend itself to becoming a circuit speaker, it does however honestly communicate how i view my experience strength and hope at that very moment in time. for me, honestly sharing my story is more important than planning my share to evoke specific emotional responses from those who listen. not that i see that in circuit speakers, i just know that if i planned what i was going to say, i would pepper my story with one-liners, beau-mots, and tear jerking events to elicit responses from my audience. i would change from an addict honestly sharing his story into an entertainer, and for me that transformation is unacceptable.
so anyhow, where i am at today? well for one grateful to be typing this little ditty and ready to get back to work. life is after all good today!

∞ DT ∞