Blog entry for:

the message of hope and just for today, that is more than enough. what is that message? for me, it is the same message that i heard all those days ago, and missed entirely for the first eighteen months of my recovery journey — an addict, any addict, can stop using, lose the desire to use and find a new way to live. my problem is these days, while i still can carry that message i forget what it was like to be the FNG in the room. i know many of my peers, speak of getting out of themselves by talking to a newcomer, and i applaud their service in that living that way. for me, it feels awkward and i feel that i am being both patronizing and condescending towards them, and that in my opinion is not attractive. so in response, i sit quietly in meetings and just “listen.”
the reading this morning, reminded me that maybe oi am taking myself far too seriously and that i need to let go of what i think i am and allow myself to express what i simply am. instead fretting and fuming about how i sound and how i look, being okay with who i am right here and right now is certainly a great plan for this day. as the snow is flying and the nut balls are already ending up in a ditch, i think i will leave it at that and get moving towards work, a bit on the early side this morning. it si a good day to be clean and as the start of my week “on-call,” i certainly will be home far more than out and about, and today i can accept that as my story.

∞ DT ∞