Some memes

barriers to inclusiveness by paying attention to what may be needed to carry a message of recovery to the addict who still suffers. although the source material spoke of physical barriers to carrying the message, what came through to me, was the part where it spoke of intellectual and emotional barriers. more than once across the course of my recovery have i been accused of “choosing” who should recover and devoting my attention to those favored few. i understand that although i choose not to be a “victim” of my pride and prejudice, my inherent biases often get in the way of me being open and welcoming. as i have grown in my recovery and personhood, i can “hear” the voice of my bias, starting to tell me to stay far, far away, and often counter it, by doing the exact opposite. learning that Jedi mind trick has taken a minute and i am far from being able to do it on demand, all the time.
moving on, i was told by a member that has a ton more clean time than i do, but nothing in a recovery program that i desire, that he yelled at one of the men i sponsor about his step work being stalled out and that i “should” be doing something about it. of all the fucking nerve, just because he has time, who the fuck does he think he is, giving me unsolicited advice on my relationship with the men who call me their sponsor. i was polite and frosty yesterday, when i wanted to verbally bitch slap him down. there was one of those places where living a TENTH STEP, paid off. i had a moment in which i had freedom to choose and i responded diplomatically and without malice. if there is a time when i find myself in his company again, and we are in a private place, he just may get more than a frosty and polite message.
anyhow, convention was overwhelming and my little speaking engagement went well, as far as i can tell. i felt was whole lot better than i did the last time i spoke at convention, twenty-one years ago, as this was material i am very familiar with, living it day after day. i walked twenty floors on the stair master this morning and the leg is not screaming at me. all in all, a great weekend and i have a family brunch and an afternoon of football smoking a stogie or two, left. i have to remember that my emotional reaction to unsolicited advice was certainly part of the karma train coming back, as i used to dispense it with great aplomb. time to take the dawg out for a little walk, on this warm November afternoon.

∞ DT ∞