Ξ± the fellowship can be a mirror to reflect back to me a more accurate image of who i am. Ο
Posted: Tue, Apr 15, 2008 08:46:48 AM
i find teachers, helpers, friends, love, care, and support. the fellowship always has more to offer me, as long as i keep coming back. first off, a word of thanks and recognition to one of my new teachers -- Happy 19th anniversary Denise W, you are proof that no matter what happens this program does work!
so into the gifts i get, if i keep coming back, well one of those gifts is i get to pay my taxes! but wait, how can that be a gift? well for one, it is because i can work for myself, do something i love, and take care of my responsibilities these days. none of that was possible when i was in active addiction, and although i hate sending money off to the government, and boy do i hate it, i also know that taking care of this particular loathsome responsibility is part of being a self-supporting, functioning member of society. no longer do i have government agencies chasing me down, demanding that i owe this and that, no longer am i living in a state that keeps me from enjoying life, paying my taxes is certainly a piece of evidence that i am getting better. another amazing thing, and it must also be a sign of my growth is that i have been asked by a few more men in the program to become their sponsors. i find that i probably learn more from sponsorship than anywhere else. guidance form my sponsor as well as learning how to help those men i sponsor find this way of living, is quite a gift that seems to keep giving me what i need to live in this world. although, recently, i have been almost dreading what this gift will bring. following a suggestion, i am working a step, that is creating a massive change in how i look at myself. and as that process continues, i am also revising the way i look at how i view thew world. yes change is good, and yes the alternative means a slow but steady decline into spiritual malaise, am alternative i find unacceptable these days. so i guess that no matter what, i will keep coming back, having fun when the opportunity presents itself and accepting that taxes like my physical death are unavoidable and have to be accepted as part of paying the cost of being a responsible, productive member of society, such as it is. it is a good day to recover.
so into the gifts i get, if i keep coming back, well one of those gifts is i get to pay my taxes! but wait, how can that be a gift? well for one, it is because i can work for myself, do something i love, and take care of my responsibilities these days. none of that was possible when i was in active addiction, and although i hate sending money off to the government, and boy do i hate it, i also know that taking care of this particular loathsome responsibility is part of being a self-supporting, functioning member of society. no longer do i have government agencies chasing me down, demanding that i owe this and that, no longer am i living in a state that keeps me from enjoying life, paying my taxes is certainly a piece of evidence that i am getting better. another amazing thing, and it must also be a sign of my growth is that i have been asked by a few more men in the program to become their sponsors. i find that i probably learn more from sponsorship than anywhere else. guidance form my sponsor as well as learning how to help those men i sponsor find this way of living, is quite a gift that seems to keep giving me what i need to live in this world. although, recently, i have been almost dreading what this gift will bring. following a suggestion, i am working a step, that is creating a massive change in how i look at myself. and as that process continues, i am also revising the way i look at how i view thew world. yes change is good, and yes the alternative means a slow but steady decline into spiritual malaise, am alternative i find unacceptable these days. so i guess that no matter what, i will keep coming back, having fun when the opportunity presents itself and accepting that taxes like my physical death are unavoidable and have to be accepted as part of paying the cost of being a responsible, productive member of society, such as it is. it is a good day to recover.
∞ DT ∞