Blog entry for:

i used to believe that the life i was living in active addiction was the ‘good life’, after all i had no one in my life that would tell me that i was using too much, so as a consequence i could use everyday with a minimum of hassles. i could watch tv all that i wanted to, i could come and go as i please, staying out all night without anyone expressing concern that i might possibly need to sleep and most of all when i needed to i could totally isolate myself from the world around me and live in a self-centered, selfish manner.
boy was i ever wrong! these days my life is so much fuller for doing the things i want to. i no longer have to spend great chunks of my day working on getting my next fix, i can actually have some fun. today i have people who actually care about me and show concern when i do not seem ‘quite right.’ although i am still free to come and go as i please, i choose to go to work, spend time with those who care about me, and participate in the lives of those around me. i can also express my true feelings for those who i care about and no longer have to isolate and lie about what i have been doing.
so i choose the freedom granted to me from active addiction and choose to call this the good life. nostalgic recall is just an illusion my disease uses against me and that old way of living was never as good as i thought it was. i am right where i belong -- choosing another day in recovery.
∞ DT ∞