Blog entry for:

i will keep coming back and coming back CLEAN.
sometimes, i just resist doing the next right thing. this morning the dawg kept trying to get me up early and i resisted like the addict i am. the last thing i decided before i went to sleep last night was to NOT adjust my schedule for this week, and work my normal hours. well now it is just past 7 AM and i am sitting at work, typing out this missive to those who care to read it. even when i resist, i end up being assimilated, and you know what, i am glad fro being off the roads for what might have been a very slow and frustrating drive to work. i am also so glad that next week i will be in the heat and dry of Arizona, chill-axing with the love of my life. that is part of this good life as well.
before i get to carried away, one of the reasons i kept coming back, was those who were here when i walked in the doors:

Denise W
24 years, WOW!
Thank you for blazing
the trail for me.

okay, that being said, i often wonder if i have enough time left to get into the decades clean mark. it is certainly true, that tomorrow marks the end of my 56th year on this side of the dirt and as those years start to pile up, i sense my mortality even more. yes, i can choose to be morose. the dark and cynical part of me, says, it really is not worth it and start enjoying the minutes i have left, after all…
which leads me back to the reading. today, snowy as it is, and as much work as i have to do, to get ready for vacation, as well as my commitments to my health and myself, i see that BECAUSE of the recovery program i CHOOSE to practice, i can enjoy those minutes even more. the only regret i have this morning, is that it took me so long to finally wake up and smell the coffee. i can go there and BOO-HOO all day long for the next 48, OR i can say, all of what i did, including sleepwalking through my life, was what i needed to do, to get to where i am today. i would have never been able to participate in my life, IF i had stayed where i was and the jarring shock of the outside world intruding into my little slice of unreality, set in motion an amazing chance to be more than i ever dreamed possible. yes the so-called good life, led me to the actual good life, i enjoy today. that is where i am today and as a matter of fact it is time to get going on what they pay me to do. yes, working is part of that good life as well.

∞ DT ∞