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has become second nature to me, over the minute that i have been clean. i was a terrible bald-faced liar, but i was quite skilled at manipulation and telling just enough of the truth to get someone to believe what i wanted them to believe. living a lie for decades on end taught me to be circumspect about what was going on and that behavior did not stop once i got clean, in fact, it got even worse for the first five =years of my recovery journey. starting with picking the last day i mused as my clean date, because i was given the choice to do so.

Denise W.
Thirty-four (XXXIV) years clean!
Keep coming BACK.
Greg C.
Congrats on FIVE (V) years clean.

this morning as i sit here i feel as if i should be sad and morose on this the second anniversary of my Dad's death, and yet all i feel is a bit numb and a bit down. i know that having an expectations of what i “should” be feeling is only ammunition to blow myself up and today i am not willing to go there. i will just be present for what is happening in my life, and move on.
not a whole lot of anything else still shaking in my life today. i have an obligation to go fulfill to the HOA. i have some chicken wings to get and consume. i have a book to finish and i am sure more than one episode of something to binge on, later this afternoon. i know that i am okay and living the best life that i can and on that note, i will wrap this up with the thought that i am grateful i can be a part of the land of the living, just for today.

∞ DT ∞