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contact with a Higher Power can be the calm in the midst of any storm. well, i think i have finally got back into the swing of things, after four days of doing whatever i could to do as little work as possible. the real world is not necessarily banging on my door this morning, but an old acquaintance did come knocking on my cyber-door yesterday. not old as in their age, but old as in they were part of my life way back when, in a totally different phase of my recovery. i found myself a bit perturbed about their assumption of a familiarity with me, that may or may not be accurate, and i probably responded a bit colder than i needed to their message, that is what i get for behaving, before i get the opportunity to process all of my feelings, just playing the human card here, as it is appropriate and germane.
what else is going on this morning? well other than a non-decision in British elections; oil spewing from the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico and ash still spewing from a volcano in Iceland, not a whole lot. at least not a whole lot affecting me directly, although all of those events and more, may end-up contributing to the general chaos that life is in the modern world. so while i understand life can be and often is randomly chaotic, there is great comfort in the shelter of a program of active recovery, for me. i need not retreat into superstitious pseudo-mysticism to find that comfort. nor do i need to rationalize my way into using a substance or behavior to numb myself into that comfort. i have at my disposal the means to be more than i was yesterday and the tools to allow the storms of the real world to buffet me and pass me over. i take shelter from those storms in the manner of living that the fellowship has provided me and because of that i am quite comfortable hearing the news of the day and understanding that it will be what it will be, my job is to reduce the amount of chaos by using the program to find a different way of walking through life today.
i can and probably will once again, rail on about how terrible life is because of the chaos that is part of the world today. BUT i know that my shelter comes in doing my best to be a part of my recovery process, and not a victim of it. living by default is not a choice i care to make today, so the news of the world while it may affect me materially, need not affect me spiritually, as acceptance provides the path to peace for me. it is time to get cracking on the projects on my desk that have languished for lack of desire all week. until next time, be at peace, i know i will do my best to reach that state.

∞ DT ∞